


Wayward

by Alliliswips (ilien)



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018), Supernatural
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Episode: s15e18 Despair, Eventual Happy Ending, Finale What Finale, Fix-It, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, you won't convince me otherwise, zagreus is the god of parted lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:53:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27558652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilien/pseuds/Alliliswips
Summary: There's a new Shade in the house of Hades. The Shade insists he isn't supposed to be here. Zagreus must get to the bottom of this.
Relationships: Castiel & Zagreus, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 123
Kudos: 345





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brinimi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brinimi/gifts).



> While everybody else is coping through writing metas and episode codas, I do that by playing Hades. 
> 
> And writing episode codas.
> 
> I might never finish this, but even if I don't, trust Zagreus. He'll make everything all right. He always does.

When Zagreus is back from the surface, his father is, of course, already home and is, certainly, already angry. The only unexpected part is that he isn’t, in fact, angry at Zagreus. Probably. Yet.

Hypnos is standing in front of Father’s desk, a pile of papers in his hands. Next to him, there’s a new Shade, freshly out of the blood pool. The Shade is wearing strange clothing - never once in his wanders around the Underworld did Zagreus see this sort of — tunics? Armor? Probably a tunic. A long tan tunic, open at the front, with a bunch of other strange pieces of clothing underneath.

The new shade is frowning. Hypnos is looking like he’s going to cry, or scream. Or maybe fall asleep. Father is looking downright furious.

“You are wasting my time, Hypnos. You have one job, just a single one job, and you can’t even do that properly! Go away and do not bother me until you find proper orders!”

“They aren’t there, sir, I swear, I double-checked thrice, and thrice again then!” Hypnos whines. 

“I am telling you, this is a mistake,” the Shade says. “I should not be here.”

“Look, uhm, what’s your name, Shade, listen,” Hypnos tells the Shade, “I know this is hard. I know you didn’t get to finish your business, say your goodbyes, the stuff. Nobody wants to die, but I promise you, if Thanatos brought you here, there was no mistake. You’re dead. It was the Fates’ will. There’s no going back. I’m just going to find the orders for you and you’ll be on your way to wherever it is you supposed to be now.”

“I’m not supposed to-”

“How dare you waste my time!” Father yells “A mere mortal, dead from a petty heart attack!”

“But that’s what I’m saying,” the Shade says. “I am not a ‘mere mortal’. I am not human. I’m not supposed to be in any Afterlife, let alone this one. And I did say my goodbyes,” he says to Hypnos so softly Zagreus can barely hear it. 

“Not human?” Father booms. “Did you check the monster section, Hypnos? What creature are you, Shade?”

“I checked and double-checked every section, your majesty,” Hypnos replies.

“I am Castiel,” says the Shade. “I’m an angel.”

“What’s an angel?” Zagreus asks. Hypnos asks the same question at the same time. They can’t help but grin at each other.

Father looks even more grim than he actually does. 

“Get out of my sight, all of you,” he demands. “You,” he points at Hypnos, “pick all of this up,” now that he mentions it, Hypnos is pretty much standing in the middle of a huge pile of discarded papers, “and keep looking for the orders. Check the restricted section, ask your mother for the code. You,” he points at the Shade, “make yourself useful while you’re here. There are a lot of things to do around this place. You,” finally he points at Zagreus, “I’ll have words with you later. If you can’t be useful at least get out of the way.”

“Gladly, Father,” Zagreus agrees. 

Hypnos picks up some of the mess (not nearly all of it, Zagreus notices) and makes a run for his mother. The Shade — Castiel — just stands there, looking utterly lost.

Zagreus gathers the rest of the papers Hypnos left on the floor into one semi-neat pile and picks it up. Dusa already has enough work as it is. 

“If you stop by the archives with me to dispose of these, sir, I’ll show you around the house,” he tells Castiel. “Or you can just stay here, I’ll be right back.”

“Let me help you,” the ‘angel’, whatever that is, says. He takes the papers from Zagreus as effortlessly as Zagreus was carrying them himself. It’s a small thing, but Zagreus knows that mortals retain the strength they had when they were alive, and this pile? This pile is way too heavy for a human being.

\---

“So, these are the archives,” he says as they enter. “Hello, hard-working shades, please keep up the good work!” 

He knows better than to try and file all these himself, so he just deposits the pile on the nearest table. “I’m sorry I brought you more work,” he apologizes, “but if I tried to deal with these you’d end up with even more to do.” With that, he flees, gesturing the new Shade to follow him. 

“So, where do you think you’re supposed to be, good Shade?” he asks.

“My name is Castiel,” the shade says. “I expected to be taken by the Empty.”

“The Empty?” Zagreus never heard of such a thing. “What is it?”

“It’s a- a place where my kind goes when we die. The nothingness that came before existence.”

Zagreus doesn’t know much about pre-existence but he’s pretty sure no one can go there, because since things exist now, there shouldn’t be any nothingness left. But what does he know?

“So, you know you’re supposed to be dead, but believe you’re supposed to be someplace else,” he concludes. 

“That is what I’ve been telling that angry man — did you say he was your father?”

Zagreus realizes he didn’t introduce himself. How rude. “I’m Zagreus,” he says. “The son of Hades — that’s the angry King of Hell you just had the pleasure of meeting. And yes, he’s always like that.”

“I would not expect anything else from the God of the Dead.”

“So, you do know my father?”

“I heard of him. Never had the...pleasure.”

“That’s because you’ve never died,” Zagreus suggests. “He doesn’t care much for the living.” He doesn’t care much for the dead, either, but that’s a different thing entirely.

“I’ve died, quite a few times,” Castiel replies. “I never encountered your father on those occasions, nor was I supposed to.”

Zagreus starts. “What? What do you mean, you ‘died a few times’? How could you not meet my father if you did?”

“There has been a mix-up,” Castiel says, in a tone of voice that suggests he’s said this exact phrase a few dozen times today. “I wasn’t supposed to get here today, either.”

“Okay,” Zagreus decides. “I believe you.” Even if he doesn’t, what’s the point in arguing? On an off-chance the Shade is actually telling the truth, he has to do something to help. “Have you met Thanatos, at least?”

“Thanatos? The God of Death?”

“Yeah, that one. Dark broody guy, a scythe, white hair, cute smile?”

“I do not believe I’ve seen the smile.”

“No, probably not,” Zagreus agrees. He himself saw it, like, five times in his entire existence. “So, you know him?”

“He’s the one who brought me here.”

“That’s right, he did. Did you see him… when you died before?”

“No, I did not. That’s not how it works where I’m from.”

“Where you’re- you have a theory, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Just a minute. Dusa! A word, please?”

“Of course, prince,” Dusa’s excitement is charming and flattering, even if the tiniest bit annoying. “Can I do something for you?”

“As a matter of fact, you can, you’re the best help in this entire house,” he says. Dusa practically beams with pride, he can swear he can see a bunch of little hearts flying around her. “We have a guest. Could you please fix a room for him? One of the spare ones.”

“Of course, prince, it would be my pleasure,” Dusa practically screams with excitement, “I’ll pick the nicest spare room for him!”

All spare rooms are more or less the same.

“Thank you,” Zagreus says, but Dusa’s already vanished.

“A medusa?” Castiel asks curiously.

“Yes,” Zagreus says. “But not like the other medusas at all. Dusa is one of a kind.”

“I can see that,” the Shade agrees. 

“If I may ask, sir,” Zagreus says. “You seem to know a lot about us. How come I don’t even know what an ‘angel’ is? Hypnos doesn’t know, either.”

“I believe it is a matter of temporal displacement,” Castiel explains. That doesn’t clarify anything. “As well as cross-realm one.”

“Temporal? Like, time? What do you mean, cross-realm?” They’re in the realm of the dead, but Zagreus doesn’t think that’s what he means. 

“In my world, your world is… something that happened a very long time ago,” Castiel explains. “And, evidently, very differently. The Hades I know about never had any children”

“Ah, that, yeah, he wasn’t supposed to,” Zagreus says. “Long story. Are you hungry? Want some fish?”

\---

Castiel doesn’t enjoy the fish (to be honest, this magma-roasted Charp isn’t the cook’s best work by far), but a bottle of nectar makes him feel a little bit at ease and gets him talking.

Apparently, an angel is a type of semi-immortal being designed to serve a particularly ridiculous god. Whose name is Chuck. Zagreus met a lot of gods by now, but none of them was named Chuck. Also apparently, Castiel hadn’t served that ridiculous god for a while before his demise, and instead was helping a human in a fight against him. Apparently, it was a losing fight, and Castiel died- killing Death? Zagreus swallowed nervously. 

The nature of the Empty as described by Castiel eluded Zagreus. She was a place and a being, much like Hades himself, but even more angry and needlessly vindictive, evidently. And, evidently, joyously cruel, as well. And as prone to sleeping as Hypnos. And— Zagreus much preferred his own family’s ridiculousness over this. 

“So, you made the deal with the Empty,” he prompts. Castiel did not explain what the deal was for, but from his own experience with people and deals Zagreus could suggest it was probably for a loved one’s safety or comfort. “And from the fact that you think you’re supposed to be there I understand that you did achieve happiness, right?”

Castiel nods, but doesn’t elaborate. It might take more than one bottle of nectar to get him to talk about it.

“Okay, so this is what we’re going to do now,” Zagreus says. “I’ll go talk to Nyx. She might have some good advice, she always does. But if she doesn’t, I’ll go try and find a way to get to your world. I mean, how hard could it be?”

“I am grateful for your help,” Castiel says. 

“Oh, don’t thank me yet,” Zagreus tells him. “You can thank me when you’re back with your friends.”

“I do not expect to be back with my friends. Getting me back to the universe I came from would be quite enough.”

Zagreus doesn’t waste time convincing him; he’s been through this with other desperate Shades, he’ll just prove himself by action. “Go get some rest,” he tells the Shade. “If Father yells at you to be useful, pretend you’re helping Hypnos. Or help him, really. He can always use some help. I’ll go see what I can do.”

\---

Nyx doesn’t offer a ready-made solution as Zagreus hoped. 

“I am pleased to see you show so much compassion, child,” she says. “But if there is a way, I have no knowledge of it, but I do know you will do everything in your power to find it.” She does, however, suggest to talk to Chaos, and that’s at least something. Zagreus would have come up with that by himself, of course, but probably not right away.

“I have noticed the disturbance in space-time continuum,” Chaos tells him as soon as Zagreus drops through the gate, “and feel that the order of the world is damaged. It is a rather pleasant sensation, but if the disturbance continues, that might damage the fabric of existence. I do not desire to see existence perish.”

“We have a new Shade in the palace,” Zagreus tells them. “He insists he isn’t from this world and was brought here by mistake. Could that be the cause?”

“I believe it is, indeed, the cause,” Chaos says. “You must strive to bring the misplaced being back where he belongs.”

“Thank you,” Zagreus says. “And if I may impose on you a little longer, could you maybe give me some directions? Where do I start fixing this?”

“There was no gateway between the two realities prior to this event,” they reply. “I’ve set one up for you. The door out of your father’s realm now goes to the other reality. There will be no getting to the surface of this world until you complete your task.”

He won’t see his mother until Castiel is back where he belongs. Oh, joy.

He thanks Chaos properly and picks a random boon without looking. 

It turns out to be his downfall; he doesn’t get past Meg this time, even though Thanatos helps him with some wretches.

\---

Back home, Father is yelling at Hypnos again. “Our filing system is there for a reason, and this is what happens when you mess with it,” he yells. “This is what happens when you don’t pay enough attention!”

“I didn’t mess with it, your majesty,” Hypnos whines. “I have no idea what happened!”

“That is precisely my point! You have no idea! This is your job! Nothing should be beyond your knowledge!”

“Father, I don’t think it’s his fault,” Zagreus tries. “This isn’t a paperwork error.”

“What do you know, about it, boy?” Father yells. When he uses this particular tone of yelling, there’s no reasoning with him at all. “You have no idea how paperwork is managed! Out of my sight, the both of you!” 

“Well, that was productive,” Zagreus mumbles as they flee together in the direction of the archives.

“I swear it wasn’t my mistake,” Hypnos says. 

Zagreus hurries to reassure him. “I know. It’s something beyond paperwork. Chaos says the fabric of the world has been damaged. I don’t think anyone could do that with a missing paper. And also, you never lose important documents. You sometimes miss people coming in, that’s right, but you’re very careful with papers.”

“That’s right, I am,” Hypnos replies proudly, and just like that he’s his usual sarcastic self again. Zagreus leaves him to his devices and goes to seek Castiel. They have a lot to discuss.

\---

Zagreus knows it will take more than just another bottle of nectar to get the entire story out of Castiel. 

“I’ve learned that we need to get you back to your reality,” Zagreus tells him. “Otherwise, the fabric of the world might be damaged.”

“I suspected something like that might be the case,” Castiel says. “Existence is a very fragile thing. How do I get back?”

“It should be easy enough,” Zagreus brags. “Chaos opened a gate to your world where the exit to the surface used to be. They say it will stay there until you get home.”

“Oh. That’s- that’s good.” He doesn’t sound especially happy.

“Excuse me for asking, sir,” Zagreus tries, “but… do you really want to go back there? Was it a good place for you to be?”

“It was.” Castiel smiles a dreamy smile Zagreus finds slightly familiar, for some reason. “It was the best place, for a time. But there’s nothing left for me there except for the Empty. Nothingness. When I go back there I will, in practical terms, cease to exist.”

“Nobody wants that,” Zagreus agrees. “But what if we find a way to keep you from the Empty?”

“I’m not sure there’s a place for me anywhere else, either. But I will, of course, strive to go back. You said it was easily done?”

“Not-” Zagreus has to think up something. He doesn’t like the determination this Shade is showing, it looks like he intends to go straight for the nothingness if left to his devices. “Not that easily. It requires a bit of preparation. I have to check the way, first.”

“Oh.”

“I’m going to try and get to your reality. You mentioned you said your goodbyes, but is there anyone back there you’d like to send a message to? Or someone you want me to check up on?”

Castiel looks as if the question is causing him physical pain.

“I left some friends back there,” he says after a minute’s hesitation. “If you could make sure they’re all right, I’d be very grateful.”

Zagreus listens carefully as Castiel describes those Winchester guys and promises to bring news from them. After that, without further ado, dashes across the hall, through his room and out of the window.

\---

Than shows up in Elysium, not a second too late. He doesn’t ask any questions, just helps Zagreus with a bunch of crazy chariots, gives him a quick peck on the lips and vanishes, like he always does. Zagreus lingers in the place for a bit. It’s like any other place in Elysium, they all blend together after a while, but each time Than shows up, the particular spot becomes just a little bit special. A place where they were together, for a bit. 

He doesn’t encounter neither of the friendly inhabitants, except for Asterius. Well, most people wouldn’t consider him friendly, either, but Zagreus knows they have an understanding. Killing each other repeatedly, sure, but in a friendly way. 

When he gets to the place where Cerberus usually guards the exit, his beloved pet isn’t there. Did Father learn what’s going on and decide to give Zagreus a bit of a break? Zagreus doesn’t waste much time wondering, he picks up a bit of life power from Charon for some spare change, just in case, and opens the door to the other reality. He’s trying not to feel much awe.

\---

The other reality looks kind of like the labyrinth. Only sort of cleaner, and, notably, without the rats. Probably no fountains, either, Zagreus thinks with regret.

“Hello?” He yells. “Anybody out here?”

No one answers, so he walks down the corridor and tries a couple of doors. They’re locked. He could easily break them down with his sword, but it wouldn’t be polite to start his first minutes in a new world by breaking stuff.

“Anybody out here?” He yells again, and feels a cold metal touch his neck. 

“Don’t move,” a voice says. “Drop your weapon.”

“Okay,” he agrees, “I’m not moving.” The sword drops to the ground with a loud noise.

Out of the corner of his eye he can see his attackers. There are two men there. If the Fates are kind, these are the Winchesters Castiel was talking about. The men look angry. They feel just a bit scared, Zagreus can feel their fear.

“What are you?” The taller one asks. “This Bunker is warded against pretty much everything”.

“Well, I’m quarter human, I guess? Three quarters god. Achilles says I’m a god of blood, but that’s ridiculous. I’m not a god of anything.”

“How did you get past the wards?” The guy holding the blade to his neck demands. 

“I didn’t notice any wards.” He really didn’t.

“I don’t think there are any wards against his kind, Dean,” the tall guy says. “A part-demi-god? I didn’t even know those existed.”

“He’s standing right here!” Zagreus complains. “Can we please talk? Without that thing at my neck? Because dying really, really hurts, and I might die, anyway, from just being here, and what do I tell Castiel if I die without talking to you?”

The hand holding the knife at his neck starts shaking so hard it breaks skin. Zagreus doesn’t take it personally.

“How do you know Castiel?” Dean — Zagreus is reasonably sure this is the Dean Castiel was talking about — demands.

“A bit of a long story,” he says. “Could you maybe remove the knife? I don’t like scratches, they itch.”

Dean seems to notice Zagreus is bleeding. “Sorry,” he says, and finally, puts the knife away. 

“Thank you,” Zagreus says. It never hurts to be polite. “I’m Zagreus, son of Hades. Castiel got to my father’s realm by mistake.”

“Hades? God of death?” The tall guy — Sam, Zagreus guesses — asks.

“God of the dead. Than is the god of death.”

“Aren’t all old gods dead now?” Dean asks. “How come you’re alive?”

How does one explain something he doesn’t quite understand, himself.

“Another reality?” Zagreus tries.

“Chuck destroyed all other realities,” Sam says. 

“Your Chuck sounds like a huge asshole,” Zagreus says.

“He’s not ours, and yes, he was.”

“He is yours, in a sense that our reality isn’t under his control. He can’t destroy it.”

“Doesn’t matter, he’s not a god anymore,” Sam says. “Nothing is under his control.”

“That’s good, right? Congratulations.”

“Yeah,” Dean says. “That’s good.” He doesn’t sound especially happy. 

Zagreus doesn’t have to think about the answer. “He asked me to tell you he’s fine. He asked to check if you’re okay. I’m working on bringing him back here.”

“So, he’s okay? Walking, talking, not sleeping and watching nightmares?” Dean demands.

“Why would he be watching nightmares?”

“The Empty—”

“He isn’t in the Empty,” Zagreus says. “He’s in my father’s house, by mistake. But no worries, he’ll be back in no time.”

“And when he’s back,” Sam asks carefully, “will the Empty take him immediately?”

“Depends on what his deal was, I suppose,” Zagreus guesses. He doesn’t know how this world works, but he has some idea about mighty beings and deals. “If the terms of the deal aren’t fulfilled anymore, he might not, until they’re fulfilled again.”

He intends to give them some hope. Instead, he sees their faces fall.

“So, basically, when he comes back here, he can stay, until his deal comes into play?” Dean asks. If Zagreus weren’t raised by his father, he’d be terrified of the murderous expression the man is wearing to— to mask heartbreak?...

What is going on with these people?

“Yes,” Zagreus says. “He’ll be free to do whatever he wants, as long as he doesn’t run into the thing that triggered his deal again.”

“I see,” Dean says, and his expression becomes even more grim.

“Dean,” Sam says, like a warning.

“Not now, Sam,” Dean replies and turns to Zagreus. “You tell him,” he says. Takes a deep breath, like speaking hurts. “Tell him we’re fine. We defeated Chuck, everyone’s back where they should be, Jack is God now and he’s good at it. And tell him—” another deep breath, like ones Zagreus takes when using his last Death Defiance. “Tell him there’s nothing for him here. What he said to me back then? He shouldn’t have said it. He should have kept that shit to himself. I didn’t want to hear it and we don’t want to see him ever again. Can you do that?”

Zagreus nods. He is stunned by the intensity of the pain Dean is emanating. 

“You do that,” Dean says. “Now, how do you go back?”

“Just stab me,” Zagreus tells him. “I’ll die and go home.”

“Are you sure?” Sam asks doubtfully. “It will hurt, won’t it?”

“I’m used to it,” Zagreus insists. “Any blade is okay, go ahead.”

Dean’s strike is carefully calculated to be as painless as possible; Zagreus knows those only come from a lot of experience and compassion. Experience in killing and compassion for the killed. Must be an extremely painful combination.

“You tell him to not come back, won’t you?” Dean demands as Zagreus fades away. “We’re free to live our lives any way we want, and we don’t want him in them.” Are those tears?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy someone is enjoying this! Your comments made my entire weekend. I'm still not sure whether or not I will finish this, so I'm doing my best to write as much as I can while I'm still inspired.
> 
> So, here, have another chapter. 
> 
> You probably already noticed, but this version of Zagreus isn’t very good at defeating Hades, so he did more or less everything he could in the realm of the dead, but hasn’t seen much of his mother yet. Achilles is reunited with Patroclus, Orpheus with Euridice, and Zagreus himself is happily in love with Thanatos.

How does he tell all of this to Castiel? Zagreus sees the Shade talking to Achilles and flees in the opposite direction.

Which is to say, he goes to consult with Nyx.

“Castiel’s friends don’t want him back,” he tells her. “He said something to them before he died, and now they don’t want to see him.”

“Sometimes mortals say things before they die they would not have said otherwise,” Nyx says. “Occasionally, they say hurtful things.”

Zagreus thinks it over. “I don’t think he thought he was saying something wrong,” he says at last. “He will be hurt when he hears it.”

Nyx nods and says nothing.

“What if I don’t tell him?” he suggests. “I’ll find a way to keep the fabric of the universe together without sending him back. And pretend it’s impossible for him to return. Will it hurt him any less?”

“I would expect better from you, child,” Nyx says kindly. “Remember your own feelings when you discovered you had been lied to. Do not presume Castiel will feel any less.”

“Of course you’re right, Nyx.” He wasn’t quite serious, he was just looking for options. 

“You’ve taken this burden upon yourself,” she tells him. “I sympathise. But you should carry it to the end. Go and talk to him before you let your fear convince you that you should not. Be honest and ask for honesty in return.”

“I think I will,” he says and runs. To the lounge. To have some fish. Fish is good, fish is better than talking.

The Fates are unkind, because as soon as he enters the lounge he discovers Castiel sitting at a table there, talking quietly with Meg. They notice Zagreus and Meg leaves with a short nod. 

“I see you’re getting to know everyone here?” Zagreus asks as he takes the chair Meg just vacated. He knows he’s stalling.

“Your family seems pleasant,” Castiel tells him. “With some notable exceptions.”

“Oh well, fathers and sons, what can you do,” Zagreus shrugs. “Do you have any children, sir?” Maybe he has someone else other than the Winchesters.

“Jack is my son,” the Shade replies. Oh. Guess not. “Did you get to see them?”

No more stalling, then. “Yes. I got to the surface, I saw Sam and Dean.”

Castiel looks so hopeful that Zagreus would rather have another knife in his heart again than continue this discussion. 

“They’re fine, sir,” he says. “They say they defeated Chuck and Jack is… good at being God?.. I think those were the words, yes. ‘He’s God and he’s good at it,’ yes.”

“Oh. Good. I never doubted them. How did they do that? Is Chuck dead?”

“I think they said he didn’t control anything anymore. They didn’t mention him being dead.”

“Good,” Castiel says again. “I wouldn’t want that on their conscience. And how are they feeling now? Are they happy?”

Here comes. 

“They— they told me they’re free to live their lives any way they choose,” Zagreus says. Deep breath. Deep. Breath. “And they said they don’t want you in their lives.”

“What?” Castiel looks surprised rather than hurt. 

“They said,” Zagreus repeats, “they didn’t want you in their lives. Dean said he didn’t like what you told him before you died. And he told me to tell you—” maybe it won’t be as painful to Castiel as it seemed? “He said, there’s nothing for you there. He said you should have kept what you said to yourself.”

Zagreus never saw a dead man’s heart breaking. Until now. 

Castiel looks— like the shade that he was. Empty. Drained.

“I see,” he says. “I… should have expected this outcome.”

“What did you say to them?” Zagreus asks. It just doesn’t make sense, none of it.

“It doesn't matter anymore,” the Shade replies. “That was the only way, anyway. Can you please leave me be, for a while? I need some solitude.”

“Of course.” Zagreus reluctantly complies. 

“Thank you,” Castiel says so quietly it’s barely audible. 

Zagreus can break Castiel out of Hades any time. Although he’s still struggling to get past Father and the labyrinth, he’s quite confident in every other part of Father’s realm. He can just take the Shade along, tell him to stay behind and bring him to the surface in no time at all.

He isn’t going to do that just yet. 

There’s something very off with this entire ordeal. He can’t put his finger to it just yet, but he’s confident he will get to the bottom of this. He isn’t going to take the poor Shade to the world where his closest loved ones insist they don’t want him. Zagreus retreats to his room to strategize; there seems to be a lot of strategizing to do. 

\---

The Fates, however, decide to show him some kindness this time. He’s sure they’re aware how much he hates thinking strategy, so they send him a most perfect distraction: Thanatos, in the flesh, is standing in the middle of his room, looking just as perfect as he usually does. 

He looks worried, but Zagreus has priorities. Kissing first, serious talk later. His room, his rules. 

Than doesn’t seem to mind, so they pass quite a bit of time sharing kisses, smiles and sweet nothings. It’s rare, having some time together in the safety of Zag’s room, and they take full advantage.

“I missed you, you know,” Zagreus says at last. “I always miss you. I know we see each other almost every day when we fight together, but—”

“It’s not the same.” Than nods. Does he sound a little surprised Zag feels this way?

“It’s okay,” Zagreus says and kisses him to prove his point. “I know you have work to do.”

Thanatos hums in agreement. 

“Did you come here just for this, or did you have something to talk about?” Zagreus asks. He knows what answer he’s hoping to get, but it’s not like Than to just show up for some kissing.

“I—” Thanatos hesitates. “I have an excuse to be here.”

“You know you don’t need an excuse to come here, don’t you?” Zagreus asks.

“I do now,” Than says. 

Did he really not realize?.. “You don’t, Than,” Zagreus insists. “You can just stop by whenever you like. I’d love to see you more often.”

“Okay. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Okay,” Zagreus echoes. “So, what was your excuse?” 

“Oh. Hypnos.”

“What about him?”

“Did you notice he’s kind of upset recently? I’m not sure he’ll talk to me, but you’re friends, right? Do you have any idea what’s wrong with him?”

“So, Father is still upset with him for the orders, then?” Zagreus guesses. 

“Orders?”

“Well, yeah. See, there’s this new Shadow in the House now. Castiel. An ‘Angel’, whatever that is. He’s from another reality and probably not supposed to be here. But Father believes that if you brought him, there must be an order from the Fates, and Hypnos just misplaced it. So, Hypnos has been in disfavor recently. That’s probably why he’s upset.”

Zagreus looks up at Thanatos as he finishes his explanation, and Thanatos… Thanatos looks sheepish. Truly actually sheepish, like Hypnos when he takes Zagreus for a random shadow, like Dusa when she lies about something Father asked her to lie about, like Zagreus when he does something Achilles explicitly told him not to do. Sheepish. Thanatos. Forget the other reality, this world is ending now.

“What is it?” Zagreus asks. “Did you have anything to do with the lost orders?” He can’t quite believe Thanatos could misplace an official order.

“Kind of… everything?” Thanatos says, and looks even more sheepish if that’s even possible. 

“Pray tell,” Zagreus says. “Did you lose the orders?”

“Not… exactly.”

“What then?”

“There were never any orders to begin with.”

“What?!” Thanatos bringing someone without orders? That’s even harder to believe than him just misplacing a piece of paper.

“There were no orders,” Than repeats. “There couldn’t be any orders, he’s from another reality, entirely out of my jurisdiction.”

Zagreus is dumbfounded. Thanatos, his Thanatos, Death incarnate, the most obedient servant of the Fates. Brought someone from outside of his jurisdiction. 

“See,” Thanatos says, “I was summoned there. Or, well, not exactly summoned, I guess. There was just a lot of talking about Death, and probably a fight, and then a surge of some very old, very dark power. It was very angry and called for— not really for me, as it turned out, thank Fates. That universe had another Death. But I still went there, to investigate. And witnessed—” Than tries to say something, closes his mouth, then tries again, and no words come out, again.

This is all so not like Thanatos. “Than. Did you see something so terrible even you are at a loss of words?” That would explain a lot of things.

“Yes? No? I don’t know,” Thanatos replies. “It was bad, yes, but not in the way that you probably think.”

“In what way, then?”

“Okay. Listen. This Shade, this Castiel, he was there with this guy, Dean. There was Death chasing them, the other Death, and everything Castiel cared about was protecting Dean. I know how it feels when someone tries to keep me away from a loved one. The force of that feeling— sometimes I wish it could hold me back, Zag, sometimes I do. But this time, this Castiel had a plan. I don’t know what his plan was, but evidently, it involved telling his Dean he loves him. I only caught the last part. He said he loved him, and somehow, that brought in that entity. The one that was looking for the other Death.”

“The Empty,” Zagreus supplies.

“You know about it?”

“I know Castiel thinks that’s what was supposed to take him. Instead of you.”

“Sounds right.”

“So, you just— what? Snatched Castiel right from the Empty’s hands?”

Here comes the sheepiness again. “Basically, yes. It had already almost consumed him, but not entirely. It took her a bit of time, a fraction of a second, and I take instantaneously. So, I did.”

“Wait, let me sum it up. You stole Castiel from an entity that was about to take him. Because you— you, what? Heard him confess his love?” That doesn’t make any sense.

“Zag, you have no idea. That entity. It was angry and painful. It isn’t afterlife as we know it — damn, in our afterlife here even the most tortured souls get a chance at redemption, just look at your buddy Sisyphus. That place? That’s a place of eternal suffering. A place where dead creatures dream forever of the worst moments of their existence. Places like that shouldn’t exist. People who can love that much shouldn’t get there.”

“Why, Thanatos,” Zagreus says, fighting a huge smile. This. This is why he loves this man with his entire existence. “I didn’t know you were such a romantic!”

“Zagreus. I gave you Mort. How could you not know?”

“Well, yes, I suppose you’re right, I did. But—” Stealing an entire person from another universe?

“Zag, if you saw the two of them there, you would have done the same.”

“Me? I would have done the same for a lot less. But you!”

“I don’t know. It was kind of a spur of the moment decision. I just couldn’t stand the thought that the two of them would never see each other again. And the thought that I’d have to look you in the eye after that.”

“So you brought him to another universe.” This is, hands down, the most romantic thing Thanatos has ever done for him, including giving him Mort.

“I know you’ll think of something. I’m sure you’re already halfway there.” Thanatos looks at him with a gentle, but still a little sheepy smile. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

Zagreus chuckles. “Of course you’re not wrong. I’m me.”

“Exactly.” Thanatos hesitates. “But I guess I didn’t think this through as much as I should have. I put Hypnos on the line. Do you think I should tell your father the truth?”

Zagreus shudders. He has no idea how Father would react, but his expectations aren’t exactly… high. “Probably try telling the truth to Hypnos, first. Talk to Father if he thinks that’s the only way to make it up to him,” Zagreus suggests. 

“Oh. Good idea.” Than picks up his scythe. 

“Wait!” Zagreus yells before Than vanishes. 

“What is it?”

“One, you forgot this,” he kisses Than’s lips, first gently, and then a little harder. Then he grins. “Well earned. Second,” is something Than can probably clarify. “Do you have any idea why Dean was so angry?”

“Angry?” Thanatos looks confused. 

“Yes. At Castiel.”

“He wasn’t angry.”

“What?”

“He wasn’t angry,” Than repeats. “He was hurt. Terrified. Heartbroken. In a lot of pain. But he wasn’t angry at Castiel, not even a little.”

“Huh.”

“What? What made you think he’d be angry?”

“Uh.” He isn’t sure he has the energy to explain the entire mess to Than. “Can we talk come other time? I need to think about it. And you should talk to your brother.”

“Sure,” Thanatos replies.

“Wait.”

“What now?”

Zagreus kisses him again. Just because he can. “You can go now,” he tells him with a wide smile. 

Than mirrors his smile and vanishes. For a minute, Zag just stands there, his fingers on his lips. Thanatos does tend to have that effect on him.

\---

He doesn’t know what he can say to Sam and Dean, but decides to do a run, anyway. No point in sitting around moping when you can be out there killing things.

The gods of Olympus seem to notice nothing out of the ordinary, save for, of course, Hermes, because evidently, nothing goes past that guy. He wishes Zagreus luck and offers an especially powerful set of boons, making Zagreus hesitate to choose just one, probably long enough to annoy the hyperactive god. 

Than doesn’t show up until pretty late in Elysium, and appears right when Zagreus decides he’s not going to this time. “I talked to Hypnos,” he says. “He was relieved to hear it was not his mistake, and we agreed to keep it to ourselves for now. I think your father suspects something is off but chooses not to interfere.”

“Okay. I’m glad to hear you talked,” Zagreus says. “And I’m happy to see you.”

“So am I,” Than replies, but doesn’t clarify, to what. Maybe to both. “Let’s get to it, then.”

Zagreus beats him by two kills and gets a heart and a kiss for that. “I’ll see you back home,” Than says before vanishing. Zagreus is looking forward to that.

Now, however, he makes a quick run around the place in search of spare coin (not because it’s where Than was, no, honestly) and only then looks up at the doors to pick his next Boon.

He’s expecting his next choice to be between Charon and some free Boon; he’s been in Elysium for a while now. Looking up he discovers that one of them is Charon, all right, and the other—

He hasn’t seen the other one before.

It’s of tan color - not yellow or golden, just muted, greyish tan, with an image of something black on it. Zagreus has never seen a thing like that before, so he can only guess what it is. Those things are probably wheels, though, so he guesses it’s a cart, or a chariot. Probably a chariot. What kind of god would this be? He’s reasonably sure no one on Olympus likes black chariots so much.

He pushes the door open and practically runs to the Boom, impatient to meet a new god.

“Whoever it is you are, I accept your message!” He yells, and the Boon trembles with power.

“Hello,” says the new god. He’s young fellow, maybe a little younger than Zag himself, in human years. He’s wearing a tunic much like Castiel’s and looks a little like Castiel, too. “I’m Jack.”

“Oh. Hi, Jack. I’ve heard about you,” Zagreus says. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise. Listen. It took me a bit to go through to you. Is it true that you have my Dad?”

“Castiel?” He did mention Jack was his son. “I wouldn’t say ‘have’. He resides in my father’s house, for now. Nobody’s holding him, though.” That’s kind of a lie; Zag is holding him, for his own good. “He’ll be back to your world as soon as I figure things out.” That, at least, is true.

“Is he okay?”

Zagreus thinks of the way he left Castiel back there. “More or less,” he replies. “I’ve seen happier Shades.”

“Oh. I see. Listen, I have something to ask of you, if it’s possible.”

Ask? Him? “Sure.” What could it be?

“I know it’s bad for both universes for Castiel to stay with you guys, I know. But I’ve patched it up as good as I could, it will hold for a little longer. Could you please keep them there for a bit?”

That was not what Zagreus expected. His surprise probably shows, because Jack hurries to explain: “See, he’ll be in danger when he’s back. The Empty is after him. And I cannot do anything about it just yet, the Empty is one thing I’m powerless against.” That makes sense, gods of Olympus are powerless about Chaos here, too. “So, could you please ask him to stay put? While I’m working on it?”

Zagreus is relieved. While Jack is working on the Empty thing, he will be working on the Dean-and-Sam thing. If Fates are kind, and to him they usually are, they might come to their solutions simultaneously, and before both realities collapse. 

“Okay,” he says. “I’ll do what I can.”

“Thank you!” Jack says with visible relief. “Here, have a Boon. I haven’t figured how your world works yet, so I could only come up with one so far. Enjoy!”

Zagreus gets a choice of one singular Boon. It’s called “Mid-season” and says, “After clearing a region of the Underworld, but before facing the final foe, gain +1 Death Defiance.”

Zagreus laughs. Maybe next time Jack shows up with it earlier; Zagreus will be pretty much unstoppable then.

He’s unstoppable enough now, as well. Theseus doesn’t even leave a scratch. After that Zagreus spends all his money on a diamond from Charon and dashes towards the exit.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another unbetaed, way too short, rushed and clumsy chapter. This won't be finished before the finale, that's for sure now. Here's to hoping I won't be terribly discouraged by whatever happens there. So far, I'm enjoying writing this immensely, and if I don't get to finish I'll at least post a brief summary of the ending, for anyone needing a closure.

He arrives at the same not-labyrinth from before. He wonders if this entire world consists of clean labyrinths with angry people.

The angry people don’t keep him waiting. 

“What the hell are you doing here again?” Dean asks. Actually, ‘angry’ might be an understatement.

“I’m—” he realizes he should have come up with some kind of lie. He can’t quite say ‘I’m trying to find a way for you and Castiel to make up,’ can he?

“Weren’t you supposed to bring Cas back?” Sam asks, much more calmly. 

That’s actually a pretty good idea. “I’m working on it,” Zagreus says. “Clearing the path, checking for traps, all that. The gate ends in this place. What is this place, by the way? Do you live here?”

“It’s our bunker, yeah,” Dean replies reluctantly. “We do live here.”

“So you ever get to see the surface?” Zagreus wonders if they’re locked down here just as he is in the Underworld.

“What do you mean ‘get to see’, why wouldn’t we?” Sam says.

“I mean,” Zagreus explains, “you say you live here. My home looks a bit like this, just a bit, and I hardly ever see the surface. It’s hard to get out of the Underworld.”

“Well, this ain’t underworld,” Dean snaps. “So whe leave when we want.”

He dares to ask, “Can I see it, too?” He’s only been on the surface twice before, not counting the brief but painful losing fights with his father, which have been, of course, countless.

“See what?”

“The surface. If it’s not too much trouble.”

“What?” Dean looks stunned. What’s so surprising about wanting to see the surface? “You’ve never been outside?”

“Well, I have. Twice. For a few hours each time. I can’t stay long and it usually takes a bit to get there.”

“So, your father’s house is underground?” Sam asks.

“My father’s house is in the Underworld. I grew up there, I was never allowed to leave.”

“Sure. Sure, kid, you can see the surface,” Dean tells him. Is this what pity looks like? Not as bad as people describe. And gets him where he wants to be - that is to say, outside.

It isn’t snowing when they come up. Just like that, they climb some stairs, open the door - and there they are, outside, on the surface of this world. And it’s green. Almost as green as Elysium, only—

It’s alive. The whole world around him, it’s just as alive as Mother’s garden. They are standing in the middle of a road, and the road goes miles and miles away in two directions, and it’s surrounded by life. Green trees are moving with the wind, some creature makes sounds in the distance — if Zagreus could guess he’d say it’s a bird — and there probably are animals somewhere, and people, breathing people with heartbeat. All the things Zagreus knows exist, but only from Orhpeus, Achilles and an occasional homesick Shade. Now he’s out here, and it isn’t showing, and everything is alive. Somehow he didn’t feel that much awe on the snow-covered road to Mother’s house or in her beautiful, but admittedly not very vast garden. 

He just stands there, for a minute, or probably an hour. Or a few days. What is time, anyway?

“You okay there, kid?” Dean asks. 

Zagreus isn’t sure how to answer that. He’s great. But it’s getting hard to breathe. 

Oh.

“I think I’m dying,” he says, and, at their terrified expressions, hurries to reassure: “It’s okay. I do it all the time. I can’t stay on the surface for long. Evidently, here, as well. I’ll be back soon.”

Sam catches him mid-fall. “Are you sure there’s nothing we can do?”

“No, it’s fine. Thank you,” he says — and dies. 

Only climbing out of the blood pool he remembers that he didn’t talk to the Winchesters at all. He had so many questions and didn’t ask any of them.

\---

Evidently, when Castiel asked for solitude, he didn’t mean just for a few minutes. Zagreus goes to look for him, but he’s nowhere to be seen; probably resting in his room. Zagreus gives a kiss to Thanatos and hurries to jump put of the window again. Lucky for him, his beloved Death doesn’t ask any questions; this last trip to the other world was way too embarrassing to share.

This time, Jack shows up in the first room Zagreus enters. 

Zagreus offers him a bottle of nectar; Jack accepts it with some doubt, but seems to appreciate the gesture.

“I have to ask you something, if you don’t mind,” Zagreus says. He needs to know everything.

“Sure,” Jack replies. “You can ask me anything.”

“Castiel made some sort of a deal with the empty?” Zagreus says, and elaborates, when Jack doesn’t reply: “What were the terms of the deal?”

“Oh. He— They—” Jack hesitates, pondering something, or maybe just unsure how to proceed. “I was dead. Cas made a deal with her, his life for mine. But the Empty was kind of mad at him, so she decided to be cruel. So she told him she would take him the moment he experiences ‘true happiness’. Whatever that means.”

“And he did? Than said he snatched Cas right out of her grasp.” Than also said something about a love confession, but that can’t be it, can it?

“I… guess? I don’t know what happened. Dean wouldn’t tell me, and Cas isn’t around, and the Empty isn’t exactly a chatty person, and no one else was there. When Cas made the deal, he told me it wasn’t likely to happen anytime soon. I guess he was wrong?... But anyway, that’s all I know.”

“Thank you,” Zagreus says.

“Sure. Here, have a boon. Or, well, the boon, I didn’t have the time to come up with anything else.”

Zagreus doesn’t need anything else, this is the best boon there is. 

The Fates do not agree. Even with all extra Death Defiances and Than’s help in Asphodel he doesn’t manage to get all the way out. Theseus gloats so loudly that Zagreus thinks he still can hear it when he’s climbing out of the pool of blood.

\---

He finds Castiel standing on Than’s usual spot, overlooking the river. He looks like he hasn’t slept for days. 

Zagreus offers him a bottle of nectar, which he politely accepts, but doesn’t seem to enjoy very much. He sips the nectar from his glass and looks like his thoughts are far, far away. Zagreus recognises that look; he saw it on his tutor’s face way too often, before he found a way to reunite Achilles with his Patrocolus. He’s going to take his best shot at helping these two, as well. If they can, at all, be helped.

“Can I ask you a question, sir?” Zagreus asks. He seems to ask that a lot recently.

“Of course.”

“I mean, you don’t have to answer if it’s too— anyway. Jack told me about the deal. True happiness. What—” he can’t ask ‘what did you do’ just like that, that wouldn’t be very polite, would it? “What does it feel like?”

Castiel’s face clears, just a little. “Amazing,” he says. “Glorious. Overwhelming. No word could ever describe it.”

“I see.”

“No, you do not,” the Shade replies. “And that’s fine. You have a lot of time to figure it out. 

“What—” he does have to know. “What made you feel this way?”

“I did. Dean did.” Castiel says cryptically and falls silent for a minute. “For a very long time I did not realize that happiness isn’t really in… requited feelings. It’s in those feelings themselves. In allowing myself to feel them, to express them. When I realized that, I knew I could feel happiness any moment I wanted. And that’s what I did.”

“You mean you just told Dean you love him? And that was enough?”

“Apparently, yes. And I believe one day, once I process my disappointment over Dean’s rejection, I might be able to feel that way again. That day, however, is not today.”

“Thank you for sharing it with me,” Zagreus says. He nods at the now empty bottle of nectar, but they both know it’s not only the nectar he’s talking about. “It’s a great honor.”

“Thank you for listening, Prince Zagreus. Emotions are fascinating, aren’t they? Just telling you all of this made me feel a little better. So, I thank you for that.”

“Anytime, sir,” Zagreus tells him. “I’m always happy to listen.”

\---

In his room Thanatos is waiting for him. Again, third time in a row, not that Zagreus is complaining in any shape or form. 

“How’s your project going?” Than asks.

“It’s going,” Zagreus replies. He doesn’t know what else to say. He’s nowhere near a solution. If anything, he has more questions. 

“Good. Good, keep it up,” Than prompts. If Zagreus wasn’t already fully invested in this endeavour, that alone would have made him double his efforts. 

He thinks about Castiel’s words. Allowing yourself to feel and express the feeling. Evidently, the ‘angel’ (Zagreus makes a mental note to ask someone what an angel is; his list of questions is rapidly expanding) believed that to me a key to true happiness.

“I love you,” he blurts. “You’re beautiful, amazing and supportive, you know me better than anybody else, you protected me even when you were mad at me. I miss you all the time. When you stop by to help me with my escape, I always linger there a little longer. Just because that’s where I last saw you.” Castiel was right, that does feel good.

“Oh,” Thanatos says. “I love you, too. Very much. You know I only leave so fast because I hate to see you move on? Because I know that eventually you might leave for good?”

Huh. Castiel was wrong. Requited love feels so, so much better. “Than,” he says, struggling to put everything he’s feeling, if not into words then into the way he says them. “I’ll never leave you for good. You have to know it, I won’t. It’s not you I’m running from, I’ll always come back to you! Don’t you know that?”

“I suppose I do now,” Thanatos replies. “Zag. I love you so much.” ‘Please, stay with me,’ he doesn’t say, but Zagreus hears it, anyway. Than might not fully believe Zagreus now, but Zag has an eternity to prove himself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another sad piece, because today is today.
> 
> Heads up: some homophobia in this chapter. I promise it gets better; I'm sure you've guessed already it's not actually as bad as it looks.

Eventually, Zagreus regretfully pulls himself out of Than’s embrace. He’d rather he didn’t have to, but there’s fabric of the universe to consider. And some people’s happiness. Somewhere deep inside Zagreus believes that someone’s happiness might be more important than the universe.

Thanatos, evidently, agrees, since he was, in fact, the one to start this entire mess. That part still blows Zag’s mind. 

With one last kiss to Thanatos, he dashes to the armory, picks up the shield (he hopes he’ll have more luck with the shield than he had with a bow last time) and jumps out of the window.

Jack shows up mid-Tartarus and offers the same single boon and a promise that he’s working on the Empty problem, but hasn’t found a solution just yet. That’s good enough for Zagreus, as he’s working on his own Castiel-related problems as well, and also seems to be struggling.

Sam and Dean meet him just as he enters their… they said it was a ‘bunker’? They’re there, like they’ve been waiting for him to show up.

“Let’s go, kid,” Dean says, pushing Zagreus gently on the shoulder in the direction of the exit. “We figured you don’t have much time, so come.”

Zagreus glances at Sam, puzzled. 

“We’re taking you for a drive,” Sam says like it explains anything. A ‘drive’?

They walk out of the bunker and head straight for the— it looks like the symbol on Jack’s Boon. A shiny-black… something. It’s a little bigger than Zagreus imagined, but generally looks very similar to the picture. It does, indeed, have wheels.

“Is that a chariot?” he asks.

“Dude,” Dean says. “Are you for real? It’s an Impala.”

Zagreus knows what an impala is. It’s an animal, beautiful and graceful. The thing does look beautiful and probably even graceful, but Zagreus is pretty sure animals don’t have wheels. Granted he didn’t see many animals, apart from rats and mice.

“Impala?” He asks with doubt. “Like, a deer?”

Sam seems to take mercy on him. “It’s a car,” he says. “A vehicle used to transport people from one place to another.”

“Dude, what the hell, Baby is much more than just a car.”

“Of course she is,” Sam agrees easily. “But evidently, out guest needs a point of reference.”

“So, it’s like a chariot?” Zagreus asks. That’s his point of reference, after all.

“Yeah, exactly like a chariot,” Sam says. “But doesn’t need a horse to pull it.”

“Not all chariots use horses. Some are driven by celestial power,” Zagreus says.

“If you say, so, buddy,” Dean says. “Anyway, you can ride shotgun. Sammy’ll take the back, won’t you?”

“Sure,” Sam says, and Zagreus is, once again, lost. “You take the seat next to Dean, I sit at the back,” Sam explains. “You can see the road better when you sit at the front.”

He lets them show him how to get in the ‘car’ and fasten the ‘seatbelt’. They don’t explain what seatbelts are for, but as soon as the ‘car’ starts moving Zagreus begins to suspect they’re meant to keep people from running away in terror. 

He knows more than one Shade that would be absolutely, completely and utterly horrified by the speed of this chariot. Zagreus, for once, enjoys it like he enjoys precious few things in his life. It’s exhilarating in so many ways: the wind that brushes his face from the half-opened window, the way fast movement makes his heart bit just a little faster, the way the scenery outside changes every few minutes, and Zagreus doesn’t even have enough time to remember the correct word for everything he sees. Trees. Grass. Clouds. Is that a field or a tundra? Is that a mansion or a cottage? Those animals are kept in herds, so they’re probably sheep. Or maybe cows. Are those birds? 

For some things he doesn’t have a point of reference at all. Why do they put lines on the roads, are they afraid they might not see the road without them? Or are the lines supposed to glow in the dark? They pass a place with a small cottage, several tiny buildings next to it (are they sheds?) and a few chariots, just like the one they’re in, standing next to the sheds, connected to them with what looks like thick ropes. He thinks he sees someone take the rope out of a car’s side and put it into the shed. He has no idea what kind of ritual that is, but it seems fascinating. 

Eventually, they take a left turn off the road, move a little bit into that direction and stop. Dean jumps out of the car and walks around it to open the door next to Zagreus. “Come on, kid, get out,” he says. “Come, have a look around.”

Sam reaches to help with Zag’s seatbelt. “Look,” he explains, “this is a button. You push it, it comes out.” Zagreus does as he’s told. The ‘button’ gives with little effort, and he’s free.

He climbs out and follows Dean. They walk around some bushes, and then—

He’s never seen so much water in his life. He heard about seas, of course - places where, if you go far enough into it, water will be all around you, from horizon to horizon, and no matter how hard you look you won’t see any land. This is evidently nor a see, it’s much less water than that and Zagreus can see that it’s surrounded by ground, and trees, and bushes, and grass on all sides. But still, it’s huge. There’s a lot of water, and it’s so blue, so bright; Zagreus never thought water could be so blue.

“It’s a lake,” Sam says. 

“Lake,” Zagreus repeats. “It’s amazing.” It is. It’s the best thing he’s ever seen in his life. He wonders if there are any lakes in his world. The two times he managed to get to the surface he thought there might be more water under all that snow and ice, but he didn’t have enough time to really consider it, or imagine what it might look like without the snow and the ice.

It’s gorgeous. 

“We thought you might like it,” Dean said. 

Zagreus is moved by the depth of compassion these two people are showing him. They barely know him, and yet! 

Are those actually the same people who asked him to tell Castiel to never come back? 

He realizes he doesn’t have much time. If he doesn’t talk now he won’t get any answers this time around, either. 

“I relayed your words to Castiel,” he says. 

The happy grin on Dean’s face vanishes, like it was never there.

“Good,” he says. 

“It caused him a lot of pain,” Zagreus continues and glances at Sam, only to see him avert his eyes. He looks at Dean then. Dean’s expression looks like a mask, or maybe like he’s a Shade that died from so much suffering that his face is forever dark and gloomy in the afterlife; Zagreus has met more than one of those Shades during his escapes.

“Good,” Dean says after a pause.

“What?” That’s an awful thing to say. “He’s suffering, how is it good?”

Dean shrugs, and his expression stays exactly the same.

He’s failing to connect the two sets of Winchesters in his head: the ones who brought him to this beautiful and amazing place as a treat, when they barely know him at all, and the ones who say things like ‘it’s good that my dead friend is suffering’. They can’t be the same people. The stunning scenery around him is living proof that in fact, they are.

“He told me what happened,” he says. He doesn’t know what he is trying to achieve with that statement. “He said he told you that he loved you. Those were his last words to you. Why are you so upset with him?” He always tries to give people the benefit of the doubt; most people usually have a good explanation for most of their worst words and actions, and if you just care enough to hear their side of things, there’s often a resolution somewhere in that reasoning.

Dean’s still wearing that painful mask of every bad emotion at the same time, and none of them in particular, but Zagreus can see his hesitation. Until he can’t.

“Are you gonna give my words to him, again?”

“Probably,” Zagreus says.

“Okay.” Dean takes a deep breath, like he’s bracing for something. The painful mask stays on. “Because I trusted him. I trusted him with my life, I trusted him with my back! I trusted him with my brother’s life! And all this time he was hiding _that_ from me! All this time he wanted— So, yeah. That’s why I’m mad. I didn’t know he was like that, and I didn’t _want_ to know. I didn’t know I let a fucking f—” he swallows, like the word he wants to say is so bitter he can’t move his tongue around it. It probably is. “So, there. Tell him I don’t want him around, tell him we don’t trust to turn our backs to him.” Dean stops abruptly and turns away.

Sam’s looking at his shoes. He looks...something. Hurt, sad, remorseful. Not nearly in as much pain as Dean sounds, just very sad.

“How’s loving you a betrayal?” Zagreus asks, lost. 

“Oh, kid, there’s a lot you don’t know about our world,” Dean says.

“Cas didn’t just mean he loved Dean like a brother. He meant he was in love with him,” Sam said, like that was any explanation at all.

“Yes, so?” How’s that a bad thing?

“He’s a guy. So is Dean.”

How is that in any way relevant? “I know that.” It’s getting kind of hard to breathe.

“Wait, there’s no homophobia in your world?” Sam asks, looking... pleasantly surprised? That’s an unexpected look, but it’s gone in an instant.

“Homo— people afraid of other people? There’s a lot of that everywhere, I suppose.”

“No, not that,” Sam says. “Zagreus? Are you okay?”

He doesn’t have time to reply to that. With a last glance at the glorious ‘lake’, Zagreus is dead. 

\---

Hypnos greets him with his usual sleepy cheer. 

“Do you know what ‘homophobia’ is?” Zagreus asks him.

Hypnos ponders for a second. “Humans afraid of other humans?”

“I’ve been told that’s not it,” Zagreus says.

“No idea, then,” Hypnos replies cheerfully.

Zagreus asks Achilles, but he doesn’t know the word, either.

“It’s an intense, often harmful dislike of those who love people of the same gender,” he hears behind him. Startled, he turns around. Of course, it’s Castiel; it turns out, the Shade can actually walk almost as quietly as Thanatos; Zagreus didn’t know that was even physically possible. “Where could you hear such a word?” Castiel asks, his head tilted a bit, curiosity brightening his features.

Zagreus thinks about Dean’s little speech. Now that he knows what the word means, the speech makes a lot more sense to him. He isn’t all too willing to share the revelation with Castiel.

As it happens, he doesn’t have to. The moment Zagreus recalls Dean’s words in his mind, Castiel’s face falls. “Oh,” the Shade says. “I see.”

“What?” He didn’t say anything, did he?

“I’m afraid I accidentally caught an echo of your thoughts. I try to avoid that when I can, but since I cannot read the minds of older gods or dead people here, I let my guard down. I apologize.”

Generally, Zagreus has nothing to hide. “You’re welcome to my thoughts, sir,” he says. “I only wish you overheard something less unpleasant.” An understatement. 

“It is okay, prince Zagreus. I might not have expected a reaction this forceful, but I did expect some... backlash.”

“This is wrong,” Zagreus tells him. It’s all wrong. Things just don’t make sense. The way Dean said it, the way Sam said nothing and gave Zagreus that word - shouldn’t he have chimed in, with support if he thought Dean was right or objections, if he didn’t believe Dean should be saying that? None of it adds up.

“It is,” Castiel agrees with surprising ease. “But in my world, humans are rarely perfect. Even the best of them.”

Zagreus doesn’t believe someone who could say something like that can be considered among the ‘best of them’, but who is he to judge? Sam and Dean are probably the only living humans he knows, now that he thinks about it.

\---

After Castiel, once again, asks to be left alone, Zagreus bids a hasty farewell to Achilles and runs straight for his window. 

This run doesn’t go very far; he doesn’t even get to see a Fury Sister. He was kind of hoping for Meg, he kind of misses her sometimes. He doesn’t stop even for a second before he tries again - and dies stupidly in a lava pool. Again, and Meg gets to kill him; she doesn’t even gloat all that much, which probably means he looks as bad as he feels. Should he have meddled in Castiel’s affairs? If he hadn’t gone to see the Winchesters again, he wouldn’t have brought the Shade another portion of pain.

On his fourth run he falls prey to Lernie. This is the first time that has ever happened; Hypnos is overjoyed to share his insight — and Castiel is nowhere in sight; it’s been days, or, probably, months; there’s no way to tell, of course.

Between his fifth and sixth attempt he realizes he doesn’t really want to get to the surface, and that’s why he’s failing so badly. What can he say to the Winchesters? What can he do to make this better? This seems like a horrible, tragic case of some ridiculous cultural misunderstanding, and there’s nothing Zagreus thinks he can do about that.


	5. Chapter 5

At some point Zagreus begins to feel like this is the way he’s going to spend the rest of his existence, severely shortened by the fabric of the universe tearing due to his lack of progress. That sounds like the Narrator in his head, which is probably an indication of him getting incredibly bored with the entire endeavour. He doesn’t know what he’ll say to the Winchesters. He doesn’t know what his next step will be, at all. So, he keeps trying.

On his fifteenth, or maybe twentieth attempt he’s beginning to consider persuading himself to talk to Winchesters about the weather. He heard humans do that. Just. Get to the other side and talk to them about something, anything, and try to make sense of this ridiculous situation. Yeah. He might.

Incidentally, that’s exactly when he finally sees the now-familiar tan Boon with the black chariot. He’s so excited he forgets to be polite and offer Jack a bottle of nectar.

“Hello,” Jack says. “I’ve got news.”

“So do I, I suppose, but they aren’t good news,” Zagreus tells him.

“Did something happen to Castiel?” Is it possible to sound so worried over cross-world communication? Evidently.

“Not as such,” Zagreus says. “It’s just that I messed up.” He tells Jack the entire story. 

Jack listens intently and huffs when Zagreus finishes. “You know,” he says, “when I was first born, Dean wanted to kill me.”

Zagreus didn’t know that, of course. “Kill you?”

“Yeah. And a few times after that. He had his reasons. It hurt a lot back then. I really wanted him to like me. But now I know he loves me very much. And I know humans do and say ridiculous things when they’re hurting. Dean more than others. Castiel knows that better than anyone.”

“You think Dean doesn’t mean that? And you think Castiel knows that?” Castiel doesn’t look like someone who didn’t take all of that to heart. Quite the opposite.

“Oh, I think Dean probably did. And Castiel knows that he did. But each time Dean says something stupid, Castiel thinks it’s the end of the world. And then they make up. It’s always like that with them.”

“I suppose you would know.”

“I’m their kid, of course I do. Don’t overthink this, Zagreus. It’ll blow over.” 

It’s hard for Zagreus to imagine something like that might blow over, but Jack does know the two of them much better than he does, of course. “Okay,” he says. “I’ll try. What’s your news?” He hopes Jack’s news is a little bit better.

“I think I’ve found a solution to the Empty problem.”

“That’s...good, right?” Should he take Castiel back to his world, just like that, or ask Jack to wait until it ‘blows over’?

“Of course it’s good,” Jack says. “But it’s a solution I can’t use.”

“What? You mean you found an unusable solution?” How’s that in any way helpful?

“I mean I know what should be done, but I can’t do it. It should be someone else.”

“Tell me more,” Zagreus prompts. He can already guess where this is going, and the change of pace is definitely welcome.

“Okay. Look, the Empty, it’s— she’s— she sleeps. A lot. That’s basically all she does, most of the time. Unless someone wakes her up. That’s what Castiel did, to make her angry. He woke her up. Well, not just he, but— anyways. I thought about it a lot. I tried lots of other things, but none of it works. The only thing that might work is if we wake her up and don’t let her sleep. Until she takes Castiel’s deal back.”

“That sounds a bit cruel, doesn’t it?” Zagreus knows that not letting people sleep is a kind of torture, even here in the Underworld. 

Jack doesn’t argue. “It is. But I don’t see any other way. And all she has to do is let go of Castiel, after all. If she really wants to go back to sleep that’s all she should do.”

Zagreus considers it. No one should be kept from their sleep for leverage. On the other hand, no one should die for being happy. “So, why don’t you do that?”

“I can’t,” Jack says. “See, I’m a god of my world now — the god, even, because the old god was kind of an asshole. And is the only being that cannot get to the Empty. As the Empty is the only place in my universe I can’t go to.”

Oh. That could be a problem. Zagreus would offer his help, but, “I’m a god, too,” he says, regretfully. 

“Of your world,” Jack says. “And not even the only one, at that. I’m reasonably sure you’ll be able to get there, and, more importantly, out of there.”

“Okay,” Zagreus says. “I’ll do it.”

“Just like that? I thought you’d take a bit more persuading.”

“Yeah, I mean, I don’t really enjoy the idea of torturing anyone. But I can stop anytime, if I think it’s too much. And I kind of like Castiel. He deserves to have someone to try for him.” And Zagreus still feels guilty for forcing the Winchester thing. Maybe if he hadn’t, it would have ‘blown over’ before Castiel even found out.

“Thank you!” Jack says. He sounds immensely excited as he starts talking, twice as fast as before. “Now, listen. I’ll convert the portal on your side so that it leads to the Empty. Each time you enter, you’ll be hit by a spell that pulls you out after a few minutes there. A few minutes at a time should be enough, I don’t want you to get stuck. You’ll drop out at the bunker then, feel free to take as many walks in my world as you want. But please, go back to the Empty as many times as you need.” After that speech Jack hesitates and then amends: “Or, well, as many times as you can, if it gets too much for you.”

Zagreus is suddenly resigned to try as many times as it takes. “Okay,” he tells Jack. “I’ll do that.” Somehow, he’s sure that now that he has a new purpose he’ll stop dying by traps and lava pools.”

“Great!” Jack sounds happy. “Have a Boon, then. Look, I’ve managed to come up with another one. I’ve been studying my family’s history and it’s more funny that I expected, if you look past all the tragedy. I suppose now I’ll see you twice each run.”

Zagreus carefully studies the boons. The first one is still the same Death Defiance one, and the other one is called “The Colt” and offers to “attempt to kill a mighty foe in one strike, once per encounter.”

“Can fail,” the description on the Boon reads, so Zagreus decides to go the familiar road and picks the first one. 

“Good choice,” Jack says. “I’ll see you later with the other one.”

He sees him in the very next room and lets Zagreus pick up the new Boon. Zagreus thinks he should ask what a ‘Colt’ is — or who that is, probably?..

\---

The run goes quite smoothly after that; he doesn’t even have to buy any Death Defiances from Charon, and he saves the money to buy some blood at the end. He’s going to need the best weapons he can get. 

The empty is— empty. Completely. When Jack first got out to the surface, he was stunned with how much was going on there: all views, the motions, the sounds; creatures and movement and _weather_. The Underworld seemed quiet and lifeless, in comparison. Which, of course, it was. 

But compared to the Empty, the Underworld is the biggest party thrown by Dionyssus, in the middle of a war led by Ares himself. There’s really nothing going on in this place - not just death, but true nothingness.

“Hello?” He yells. “Empty? M’lady? You there?”

Silence.

“Hi there,” Zagreus says again. He’s got considerable experience of talking to Lernie under his belt. “I’m Zagreus. Prince of the Underworld. Another underworld, not the one you guys have here, although I’m sure it’s good, too. Or, well, tolerable. Or intolerable, if it needs to be. Anyway, that’s me. I come from another world, can you please talk to me?”

No answer.

“Listen, eh, Empty, I’m here to talk to you, okay? If you don’t answer I guess I’ll have to come back next time, and I really don’t like it here, you know?”

Nothing.

“Oh well. I guess, say nothing, if you want me to come back.”

There’s no reply, so Zagreus keeps talking until he feels a new, unfamiliar sensation like he’s going thinner, more light and transparent. He doesn’t have enough time to get scared, because moment’s later he’s solid and non-transparent again, sitting on the floor of Winchesters’ bunker.

“How the fuck did you get here, dude?” He hears Dean ask him. “I was right next to your creepy door to the abyss, you didn’t use it.”

He looks around. Apparently, he isn’t in the same corridor he usually sees when he gets here; instead, he’s sitting on the floor of a room with a large table in the middle. He remembers seeing it the first time he was here, but he didn’t pay too much attention, too anxious to get to the surface.

“I suppose that’s how Jack’s pulling spell works,” he muses. 

“Whose what, now?” Dean demands. 

Sam offers him a hand to get off the floor. Zagreus gets up, but immediately almost falls over. “Easy,” Sam says. “I’ve got you.”

“Whoa, what’s wrong with you, kid?” Dean asks as the two of them help Zagreus walk a few steps to the nearest chair. It seems that in the short time he spent in that strange place he forgot how to use his limbs.

“I’ll be okay in a minute, thank you,” he tells him. At least, he didn’t forget how to speak, that’s something. 

“Here,” Dean pours him a glass of water. “You can have water from this world, right?”

“Of course,” he says and takes a small sip. The water is cool, but not freezing, and it helps him pull himself together. 

“You said ‘Jack? Our Jack?” Dean asks when Zagreus starts feeling a little more in his element. “The hell did he do to you?”

“Nothing. I think it’s the Empty. I’ll get used to it,” he promises. 

“The Empty?” Sam repeats.

“Didn’t Jack tell you?”

“Jack doesn’t really talk to us these days,” Sam says. “He doesn’t want to get too hands-on.”

Zagreus has no idea what that means. 

“So, Jack sent you to the Empty?”

“He helped me get there, yes.”

“Why would he do that?” Dean asks. Zagreus wonders if he knows how full of hope he sounds when he says that. Didn’t he say he didn’t want to see Castiel ever again?

“I’m trying to annoy her into letting go of Castiel’s deal,” Zagreus admits. “Hasn’t had any luck so far. I suppose I’m not very annoying, unless you ask my father.”

“Annoy the Empty?”

“Jack says he explored a lot of possibilities and decided that was the only way. And he can’t get there himself because...god of this world can’t do that? Something like that.” Zagreus takes another sip of his water. It’s nice.

“Thanks, kid,” Dean says. He’s looking up, not at Zagreus, and his expression is a little distant; Zagreus thinks he’s probably talking to Jack. “You, too, Zag,” he says then. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I do what I can,” he says. “But I thought you didn’t want to see Castiel. Something to do with your...people-phobia?”

“That’s—” Dean huffs. “That’s not the word. But anyway. Yeah, no, I don’t,” he doesn’t sound especially sincere. “Keep telling him I don’t, okay? Or don’t tell him anything. Until you get him out of the deal.”

Oh. 

Oh.

It makes so much sense now. So much sense he could cry. Zagreus was wrong, Jack was wrong, Dean didn’t really mean it at all. Why didn’t Zag catch it earlier? It seems so obvious in retrospect. Love. Rejection. Happiness. 

Deal. 

Than’s words about meddling in other people’s affairs ring in his ears again. He didn’t mess this up, but he can, easily. Is it better for Castiel to think the man he loves hates him, if that keeps him out of the Empty? He guesses Thanatos would say that is not for Zagreus to decode. 

“Okay,” he says. “I’ll endeavor to do that.”

“You’ve just caught up, haven’t you?” Sam asks. “You really believed him last time.”

“And the time before that,” Zagreus agrees easily. 

“Well, don’t let him read your mind again,” Dean demands. “Not until he’s free.”

Zagreus wants to ask the two of them if they truly believe this is worth it. He wants to tell them how badly their lie hurt Castiel and demand to reconsider; they will get him out of it, he’s sure of it, Castiel doesn’t have to suffer in the meantime. He wants to say all of that, but he can’t. He can’t breathe.

The blood pool welcomes him as warmly as it always does.

He dashes past Hypnos and Nyx and hides away in his room. He knows if he sees the broken-hearted Shade he won’t be able to keep all of this to himself. 

He knows it is not his place, so he hides.


	6. Chapter 6

“So, ‘The Colt’ doesn’t work most of the time,” he says next time he gets to the Empty. He’s been thinking what he could talk to her about, and decided that telling her about his adventures in the Underworld might be a good place to start. “But sometimes it does. I killed the smug asshole in one blow today, I’ll have you know. But it didn’t do much to Meg. Or to Lernie.”

There’s silence.

“Do you know Meg? You probably don’t, she’s one of the Fury Sisters. The smartest of them, and the nicest. She’s nice. We used to— nevermind, but anyway, she’s nice. Save for the whip. And I got some Darkness for the mirror, and three bottles of nectar, can you believe that? Well, one came from Dyonissus, he’s always very generous, but the other two I found myself. Can I interest you in a bottle of nectar? Olympus’ best, even Chaos seems to enjoy it!”

Nothing.

“Suit yourself. It’s an open offer, though, you can have it whenever you like. Which reminds me, I should offer some to the Winchesters, why didn’t I think of it earlier? I did give another bottle to Jack. I don’t think he drinks it, but he seemed moved. Most of the gods don’t want more nectar, I need to get some ambrosia for them, they’ve been very helpful and I really enjoy talking to them.” This is actually a good idea, he can tell her about the gods. 

Silence is all he can hear and feel.

“So, this time Athena and Dionysus made me choose between the two of them. Why do they do that, do you have any idea? I don’t like choosing, and it always seems to hurt the one I don’t pick. I love them all, why should I choose? Anyway, I picked Athena, because Dionysus never takes much offence. I think he likes me even a little bit more when I don’t pick him, because he likes messing with me. With everyone, I guess. Did you ever have instant hangover? Like, no drinking, no partying, just bam— hangover. Not fun. Okay, maybe a little fun. It makes me dizzy.”

He feels the same unpleasant sensation from before, of becoming transparent, a little less real. “Gotta go,” he says. “I’ll be seeing you!”

He appears lying on the big table, in the same room as last time. His head hits something warm.

“Dude, that was my pizza!” Dean exclaims. “What the hell!”

“It’s still in a box, I’m sure it’s fine, Dean,” Sam says. “You okay, Zagreus?”

“I’m—” he checks to see if all of his limbs are still attached; he thinks he might be lacking at least one. All appear to be in place, he just can’t control them very well. “I’ll be all right in a minute. 

“Get off the table,” Dean demands. “Want some pizza?”

Zagreus never heard about ‘pizza’. His guess it’s whatever warm is in that large flat box on the table. Probably food. “Sure!” He says. He’s always open to new experiences.

“That’s the spirit,” Dean tells him. “Beer?”

That’s another unfamiliar word, but Zagreus nods. If ‘pizza’ goes with ‘beer’, he should go for full experience. He jumps off the table, only to have Sam catch him by the shoulders when he almost falls over. 

“Careful,” Sam says. “Take a seat. I’ll get you a plate.”

Dean hands him a bottle, there’s probably a drink in it. Then he opens the box.

Evidently, a ‘pizza’ is thin bread with some meat and vegetables on it. Meat and vegetables are soaked in something red, and Zagreus hopes it isn’t fresh blood. It kind of looks like blood.

Sam comes back, carrying a plate. Dean puts a slice of pizza on it and hands it to Zagreus. It’s a big slice, Zagreus notices; the slices aren’t even, and Dean chose the biggest for him. 

“Thank you,” he says. Then he tries the slice. It doesn’t taste like blood. It tastes like some of the vegetables his mother grows in his garden, but he can’t remember the name. 

“Good, huh?” Dean asks. 

Zagreus hums around another bite. It is, in fact, very good. 

“It’s even better with the beer,” Dean suggests. 

Zagreus tries the beer. It takes a lot of effort not to spit it out; the taste is awful. Kind of like bad wine of the not-sweet variety, but also earthy and something else.

“It’s— an acquired taste,” Sam tells him. “You don’t have to drink it if you don’t like it.”

Zagreus wants to try to ‘acquire the taste’. He wants to understand why the Winchesters, apparently, find beer as delicious as the pizza. Right now, however, he remembers he almost forgot again.

“I’ve got something for you, too,” he says, and pulls out two bottles of nectar, one for each of them. “It’s nectar, from Olympus. I sometimes get my hands on it while breaking out of the Underworld. 

Dean takes his bottle and eyes it suspiciously. 

Sam opens his and smells it. “It smells great,” he says. “Are you sure it’s safe for humans?”

“I’ve never heard about it hurting anyone. And I gave two of these to Jack, I think he’d tell me if this was harmful in your world.”

“Good enough for me,” Dean says and takes a large tug. “Oh, it’s good!”

“Thank you, Zagreus,” Sam says before he tries his. Then he takes a sip and comments: “It is good!”

“I’m glad you like it,” Zagreus smiles. He tries his beer again. No. He hasn’t acquired the taste for it yet. The pizza is still very good, though.

\---

“I missed Castiel again when I got back home,” he tells the Empty when he gets there again. “I’m sort of glad I did, because what would I tell him?” He hasn’t shared his revelations about the Winchesters’ intentions with anyone other than the brothers themselves, but he can be cryptic when he wants to. Probably.

The Empty doesn’t answer, anyway.

“I think Father might know what’s going on, but I have no idea why he doesn’t say anything. This is so unlike him, he likes to be in control of everything!”

Nothing.

“I’m beginning to miss Than. Well, miss him more than when I just don’t see him for a run or two. I’m sure he has stuff to do, of course! And I know he’ll show up when he can, too, it’s just that I really, really want to see him again.”

Silence. 

“Okay, listen, eh, Empty? Nothingness? I know you don’t want me to be here. I know I don’t want to be here, either, and getting out of here makes me so terribly dizzy that the Winchesters have to basically carry me to an appropriate place to sit down. But I’ll keep coming back, you know. I will, until you talk to me. There’s no other way; Jack would have found it if there were, and I can’t let you hurt my friends.” 

“So, they’re your friends now, aren’t they?” He hears. He turns around towards the voice and sees himself, dressed exactly as he is now, even the bow behind his back. “What is it about the Winchesters that makes so many people willing to die for them?”

“Oh, I’m used to dying,” he says. “I do that every day. Or, maybe not every, I don’t really know when it’s day or night.”

“Go home, kiddo,” his double says. “Before I do something you’ll regret.”

“Huh, that’s funny,” he tells it— her? Him? Castiel and the Winchesters referred to the Empty as ‘her’, but the image in front of him is male. “Are you a he or a she?” he decides it’s polite to ask.

“I’m neither. I just pick a form I want.”

“Oh, you’re a they, then, like Chaos?”

“Who’s Chaos?”

“They’re my—” he thinks how to describe it. “Step-grandparent, I suppose.” Close enough. “My adoptive mother’s parent. They’re the beginning of all existence, in my world. They’re nice.”

“I recall you calling something who had a whip ‘nice’. Now you refer to primordial chaos that way. I’m beginning to think you just don’t know the meaning of that word.”

Zagreus shrugs and opens his mouth to object, but can’t, because he’s already almost completely incorporeal. He waves his almost nonexistent hand at his still corporeal copy and hopes they’ll get it for the ‘See you later’ it is.

He comes to in the bunker and falls, knocking down a lamp. It drops to the floor and shatters in numerous tiny pieces.

“What the fuck, kid, I loved that lamp!” Dean yells.

Zag knows better than to try and get up, so he just lays on the floor for a minute. He can feel a piece of glass cutting into his cheek just a little, but it’s not a big deal. 

“We have at least three lamps like this in every common room,” Sam says to Dean, and then to Zagreus, “Do you need help?”

“I think I’ve made progress,” Zagreus tells him instead of answering. Then he tries to sit up. His hand lands on another shard.

“Whoa, easy,” Dean says. “You’re bleeding. Here, let me help.” He helps Zagreus up by taking his other hand. “Come on, take a seat, I’ll help you with the cuts.”

“It’s okay,” Zagreus says. “They’ll be gone when I die, anyway.”

“You don’t have to hurt in the meantime,” Sam says.

The brothers ignore his reassurances that everything is alright and clean up his cuts. Dean puts a bandage on his hand, and Sam puts something gooey on his cheek and spreads it carefully with a tiny stick with something soft at the top. Is that how humans treat cuts? He’s never bothered since he was a little boy; he heals faster than it would take to find a cure, anyway. When he was little, Nyx used to kiss his forehead and blow on the cuts, and the pain would go away. Only recently he realized that she probably never did any of that for her other children, because he’s the only one with red blood and the capacity to bruise.

“You said you made progress?” Sam asks when they’re done with the cuts. “What kind of progress?”

“Ah. Yes. She talked to me.”

“Wha’d she say?” Dean demands. “Will she let Cas go?”

“Not yet,” Zagreus says. “I’ll have to work on it some more.”

“What can we do?” Dean asks. “How can I get there with you?”

“Dean,” Sam says, like a warning. 

“Shut up, Sammy,” Dean tells him. “I can’t just sit on my ass and do nothing!”

Zagreus can understand the sentiment, but. “I don’t think you should go with me,” he says. “If it were safe, Jack would have sent you, in the first place.”

“Listen to the man, Dean,” Sam says. 

“But you know more about the Empty than I do,” Zagreus continues. “It would help me if you could come up with ideas to annoy them. Or better, with a price they would accept for Castiel’s deal. It’s always better not to leave people feeling cheated.”

“She isn’t people,” Dean says. “I’d cheat her anytime. If that meant saving Cas.”

“Well, we don’t have any cheating plans, either,” Sam interjects. “We could work on that, too.” He seems to really like the idea that they could get some work done.

“Try to find out what they would like,” Zagreus tells them. “Especially something they can’t get. We’ll think how we can get that for them.”

“They?” Dean asks. 

“Well, I didn’t see a she when we talked, I saw a version of myself. And I figured if they’re neither, they might be a them, like Chaos.”

“Who the hell is Chaos?” Dean asks. 

Zagreus explains. 

“Dude. You’re a grandkid of pre-existence?” 

Zagreus has no idea why Dean sounds so impressed. “Isn’t Jack your child?” He thought he heard Jack refer to himself as ‘Dean’s kid’ once or twice, along with ‘Castiel’s son’. It’s confusing a little, but Zagreus is a son of both Nyx and Hades, not to mention his mother, so he understands confusing. “That makes you a father of a god, doesn’t it? And I heard he’s the only god in your world?”

Dean sputters. “He’s— I’m—”

“We never thought of it that way, I suppose,” Sam tells him, pensive.

“It’s not like we’re his birth parents!” Dean insists. 

“Neither am I, to Nyx,” Zagreus explains. “She raised me since I was born.”

“Oh.” Dean looks like he’s about to have a breakdown. What did Zagreus say?

Sam seems to notice that, too, and, evidently, decides to change the subject. “So, we have a plan now. Find a bargaining chip for the Empty. Preferably something they like.”

“A pretty crappy plan,” Dean tells them, but doesn’t look as distressed anymore. 

“It is a beginning,” Sam replies. 

This time, death comes so suddenly Zagreus doesn’t have time to say goodbye. He hopes they don’t take much offence at that lack of politeness.


	7. Chapter 7

Zagreus gets out of the blood pool and glances at his hand. The bandage is gone, as well as the cut. His cheek isn’t hurting, either. He almost regrets the loss; the warm feeling he got when the brothers were treating his cuts reminded him of how he felt when Nyx would kiss his forehead and tell him he was brave, and it made him kind of miss being a child. He thinks he needs to thank Nyx for making his childhood a happy one.

Nyx isn’t in her usual place, though, so Zagreus goes to get a snack. He hopes for something other than fish this time, but no luck. The Chlams in hot sauce are pretty good, though, so he isn’t complaining. 

“Someone once told me, long ago, when I was secretly seeing the Winchesters when that person didn’t want me to, that I stunk of Impala,” he hears behind him just as he’s finishing his plate. “I didn’t get it back then, but I can see now. There’s a very distinctive air around you. You’ve seen them, haven’t you?”

“I have,” Zagreus replies. “Hello, sir.”

“Hello, Prince Zagreus. How are they?” The Shade no longer looks like his heart is shattered in a million tiny pieces. Instead, he just looks sad, with that deep, all-encompassing sadness Zagreus sometimes sees in especially lonely Shades. It used to be how Patroclus looked, before Achilles was allowed to go see him. 

Zagreus is suddenly very interested in the leftover sauce on his plate. Not just because such sadness is as painful to see as the heartbreak it came from, but also because if he keeps looking, he might try to make Castiel feel better. And he can’t do that, not until he’s done with his task.

“They’re all right,” he says. “Gave me ‘pizza’ and ‘beer’. One is good, the other— acquired taste, they said. I haven’t acquired it yet.”

Castiel huffs. “They really enjoy that beverage. From what I’ve heard, not even the best kind.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Zagreus says. “But pizza is good.”

“Zagreus,” Castiel says. “Jack talked to me. He told me what you are trying to do for me. Thank you.”

“It’s nothing,” Zagreus says, embarrassed with the depth of sentiment he hears behind the Shade’s words. “Don’t worry about it.”

“It’s not ‘nothing,” Castiel says, accompanying the word with air quotes. “It’s taxing, uncomfortable and potentially very dangerous. So, thank you. I have nothing to give you in return, but I can, at least, offer my gratitude.”

“You’re welcome.” What else can he say?

“The Empty is a very dangerous and unpredictable adversary. Be careful.”

“I always am,” he promises. He is, isn’t he?

\---

“So, I talked to Castiel today,” he tells the Empty after greeting them properly. “He told me you’re dangerous. I suppose he’d think that way, wouldn’t he, seeing how you were supposed to be the instrument of his demise, right?”

The Empty doesn’t reply.

“Oh, we’re back to silent treatment? Okay. I’m sorry I’m annoying you again. But that’s all the plan we have right now, so— sorry? I’m gonna keep talking.”

Silence.

“I told the Winchesters I think you’re a ‘they’. They seemed a little surprised. Then I told Dean he’s the father of their god, and he hadn’t realized that before, so I think I broke him a little. Why is it so hard for them? Humans are strange, don’t you think?”

Nothing, again.

“I see. Okay. Well. I—” he thinks of something else to say. “I’ve talked to Lernie today. I mean, I talked, Lernie listened. Lernie is actually a pretty decent listener, I’ll have you know. Doesn’t listen for too long, but always replies, unlike Bouldy, though Bouldy is friendlier, of course, and never insults me, unlike Theseus, though Theseus is probably funnier, I suppose. Did I tell you about Theseus? I kind of like his friend, Asterius, the minotaur. He’s not bad, but very loyal to Theseus, and that one is such an asshole, you have no idea. I really don’t like him, I don’t think we could be friends even if we had a dozen bottles of Ambrosia together. So, probably a good thing we don’t have to be friends, right? We can just kill each other and be done with it.”

Nothing.

“Empty? Are you there? Listen, I’m sure you’re nice— or, at least, I’m perfectly sure you’re much nicer than Theseus, although that’s not much of a compliment, I guess, sorry. But say something? I liked talking to you last time.”

Nothing.

He decides to take another approach, even though he really, really doesn’t like the idea.

He gets loud.

“Heeeey!” He yells. “Anybody here? Hellooooo! Talk to me! I’m here!”

That, surprisingly, helps. 

The familiar image of himself appears right in front of him and grabs him by the front of his tunic.

“How dare you?” They hiss. Almost like Lernie, but with words. “You come to me, you wake me up, you demand my attention, you return over and over again just to make me lose sleep, and now you wake my inhabitants! It’s _so loud now_! And I _need my sleep!_ ”

“I know, I know,” he tells them, trying not to be bothered with how violent they suddenly are. He should have expected it; that’s what he wanted, after all, a reaction. “I’m sorry! But I need you to talk to me! We need to do something about Castiel, he can’t come back here! It’s not fair! You have to let him go!”

“No,” they say, and let him go. It sounds final.

“Please?” Zagreus asks, without much hope.

“Do not come back, unless you want to stay here forever,” the Empty threatens. “You will not enjoy the stay.”

Zagreus knows for sure (well, almost for sure) they’re empty (hah) threats, but he still shivers just a little. 

And then he starts vanishing.

\---

In the bunker, he drops onto something soft. A nice improvement after a floor, a chair and a bunch of glass shards. He opens his eyes. Evidently, he’s fallen into a bed, and now lying across it, on top of the blankets. 

The brothers are nowhere in sight, so he decides to stay where he is. He’s dizzy and it’s comfy; seems like a perfect combination.

“Dear Fates, you’ve been so nice to me so far,” he says. “Can you please arrange so that I end up on a bed every time I get here from the Empty? Since, you know, the bunker has beds, so it shouldn’t be too hard? Or, well, if that’s too much to ask, then half of the time? I’d really appreciate that. Thank you.”

He’s sure the Fates can hear him. They always can.

Some time later — minutes or hours, he can’t tell, but probably not days, because he hasn’t managed to stay topside for days yet — he forces himself off the bed and goes to look for the Winchesters. It seems impolite to stop by, sleep in their bed and not even say hello.

He’s met with a cute tiny dog. 

“Oh, hello,” he says. “What’s your name? I’m Zagreus! It’s nice to meet you!”

The dog barks.

“I’ve never seen a dog like you,” he tells it. “Well, granted, I haven’t seen any dogs who aren’t Cerberus. And you’re so cute! Do you like pats?”

He tries patting the dog. It sniffs his hand with suspicion, but allows it. Seems like it enjoys pats as much as the hellhound’s left head.

“You like it, don’t you?” Zagreus asks. “I can see you like it, it’s great! We’re going to be the best of friends!”

He offers the dog a bottle of nectar, and is thanked by an enthusiastic tongue on his nose. 

With the dog in tow, he explores the now-familiar rooms of the bunker, one after another (the unlocked ones, anyway), in search for his hosts. The rooms are empty and nobody answers when he shouts. 

After a bit, he feels it’s getting a little harder to breathe.

“It’s okay,” he tells the dog. “It’s normal for me, don’t worry, I’ll be back! I’ll say hello from you to Cerberus, I’m sure he’ll be pleased! And you say hello to Sam and Dean from me when they come back, okay?”

The dog barks. Zagreus decides that means ‘okay, deal’.

\---

Climbing out of the blood, he remembers that last time he wanted to talk to Nyx. He says hello to Hypnos, waking him from his slumber again (at least he doesn’t threaten him, unlike some beings), pats Cerberus and tells him about the tiny dog (he seems mildly interested), ignores his father’s threatening glance, compliments Orpheus on his and Euridice’s newest song (it’s even more amazing than their last one) and goes to Nyx’s corner.

He’s got a bottle of Ambrosia for her. 

“Listen, Nyx, I just wanted to tell you,” he says, “how grateful I am to have you in my life. I know you probably didn’t expect to have to care for a part-human child, with red blood, bruised knees and all, but you still did a perfect job. So, thank you.”

“It was truly my pleasure, my child,” she replies, accepting his gift. “It is true that I never knew how to care for red-blooded children before you came into our lives, but it was a blessing and an honor.”

“It’s been a blessing and an honor for me, too,” he says. 

She smiles. 

He doesn’t know how things will turn out with his birth mother; he hasn’t seen enough of her to figure it out just yet, but he knows that whatever comes next, he has a real mother in Nyx. He can see how that could be enough.

\---

For some reason, this time he lingers in the House a little (okay, a lot) longer than usual. He doesn’t like to think it has anything to do with the Empty’s threats, but the alternative would be having a bad feeling about his next run, so he decides to believe that’s the case. 

He stops by the lounge to have a few words with Meg, tracks down Dusa next to the archives, gives Than a long kiss, catches up with Achilles and even eats a whole plate of fish. Then he spends an unknown, but definitely long amount of time patting Cerberus; it always annoys Father, so that’s a bonus. 

Then he goes to his room and fiddles with the mirror, trying to pick the best possible combination of perks. He ends up with the one he had before he started, because this is far from the first time he’s done it. 

Then he beats Skelly up with every weapon he owns. The guy is overjoyed to have some action, Zagreus can see it in his empty eyes. The skeleton taunts and mocks and teases, and Zagreus obliges him and picks weapon after weapon. How can anyone be so happy taking a beating to the death? That’s beyond Zagreus, but whatever, he won’t judge. 

After he finally, reluctantly, jumps out of the window, he dies in Tartarus twice in a row. That’s where he begins to suspect the Fates don’t want him to go, this time. Or probably he doesn’t want to go, himself, sometimes it’s hard to tell one from the other. 

But he knows there’s no other way, so he keeps going.

He gets past Elysium with no death defiances left. He knows that’s a bad omen, but what does he need those for, anyway, if they don’t work topside?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some pieces of dialogue here and later on have been snatched directly from the game. Those belong to Supergiant Games, I'm just playing with them, with respect and gratitude.

“Hello there, Empty. You’re looking fabulous today,” he says as soon as he gets there. “All dark and gloomy, it’s a good look on you!”

The Empty doesn’t reply, but he’s used to it by now.

“Anyway, I have to say, I didn’t really want to come here today, if I’m completely honest. It’s not that I don’t like you, quite the contrary, it’s just… this is getting a little boring, isn’t it? And I don’t actually like waking people up, I don’t even like waking up Hypnos when he’s sleeping on the job, and he’s never mad at me for that!”

Nothing.

“But I still came. You know, I really want to help Castiel. He’s a nice guy, and Achilles seems to like him a lot, which means he’s a good guy, too; Achilles is a very good judge of character. Dusa seems to take to him, as well, which also proves he’s a good person. And he’s hurting, quite a bit, and part of it is my own fault. I want to fix it, and I really, really need your help with that. Is there anything I can do for you? Anything I can give you, that would be worth the life of one ‘angel’? What’s an ‘angel’, anyway? I keep forgetting to ask.”

Silence. 

“Please?” He yells. Last time yelling worked. “Tell me what can I do for you?”

“You can start with shutting the hell up,” his double says. “You woke up my inhabitants. Again. They’re angry and upset, and I. Need. Sleep.”

“I know,” he says. “I’m sorry. But I’m here about Castiel. Please? Set him free?”

“Listen to me, godling. I like you. Really. But I asked nicely. And I warned you. And I told you not to come here. I told you you’d regret it. Now, you will regret. Regret is the only thing you’ll have left. You’re mine now.”

“What?” He asks. He thinks he was about to say something, but cannot remember what it was. His head is heavy, his eyelids are filled with lead.

“Sleep,” the Empty says. Their voice is calming, reassuring. “Sleep.”

He doesn’t fight it, at first. He’ll start vanishing pretty soon, anyway, and show up in the bunker again. Hopefully, on a bed. Where he can sleep for real. The bed he showed up on last time was pretty comfortable, he homes the bunker has more of those.

It’s hard to move, hard to think. He doesn’t have to think, of course, he can just let it happen, and then he’ll wake up and the Winchesters will show him some new and exciting thing from the surface: some food, or a place, or an animal. He’ll learn the name of that cute dog and get to ask what an ‘angel’ is.

He should just wait a bit.

And a bit more.

And a little more, then.

Nothing happens, other than his head getting heavier and sleep getting harder and harder to fight. He struggles to open his eyes, and manages that after several painful failed attempts. He looks at his hands. They aren’t going translucent. They should, any minute now, and he’ll show up at the bunker, all dizzy and disoriented. 

He doesn’t.

And doesn’t. 

“Sleep, godling,” the Empty says. “Sleep.”

His eyes close again. Sleep is welcome, rest is everything he’s ever wanted.

He doesn’t think he’s breathing, anymore, but for some reason that doesn’t make him wake up in the House. 

Did she get him? How did she get him? She wasn’t supposed to. Jack promised he’d pull him out. It’s okay, though. He just wants to sleep.

He just wishes there weren’t people waiting for him to return.

Castiel will be upset, because he warned, and Zagreus didn’t listen.

The Fates might not be pleased, because they were, in hindsight, against it, this time around.

Nyx will miss him, and so will Mother, probably. And Achilles, and Hypnos, and probably even Skelly and Meg.

Than will be so, so mad at all of them.

Last thing Zagreus manages to do, with numb fingers, is grab Mort. It can’t work, not here, but it’s a comfort, holding the most precious gift he’s ever been given.

\---

_“They say it’s all right, Than. More than all right, they’re happy. I think you’re overthinking it.”_

_“It worked out all right this time,” he says, stubbornly. “Doesn’t mean it always will. If you’re so set on meddling in other people’s affairs, have the decency to ask them, first.”_

_“What, like you ask?”_

_“That’s different, and you know it.”_

_He does. He’s still upset with Than for calling him out like that. He did the right thing. Than’s wrong, Euridice even said as much. Why is Zagreus so upset with being called out?_

\---

_His knees hurt, there’s a painful bleeding slash on his shoulder, but his bruised ego hurts a lot more than that. He’s on his knees, his sword in front of him on the floor, and Achilles is looking at him with smug pity._

_“Get up, kid, you can do better.”_

_He grabs the sword, jumps to his feet and launches himself at his mentor. He doesn’t care if he hurts him; they’re all dead here, anyway, and this smug asshole needs a lesson. He’s the son of Hades, he won’t be defeated by a mere mortal, again._

_Achilles parries his attack with bored ease. “Good,” he mocks. “Now try this again, but hold the sword like this,” he shows off his grip of his own weapon. “This helps you save some time, sometimes that’s what makes all the difference.”_

_Zagreus grabs his sword the way he’s shown and strikes again. This time, he nearly gets close enough to the bastard's heart. Nearly, because Achilles parries him again, with such ease that Zagreus is beginning to think he’s getting toyed with._

_“Very good,” again with the mocking. “Let’s try again.”_

_Zagreus attacks. He gets parried and parries his mentor’s counterattack, turning that into a pretty decent offensive maneuver. That gets parried, again, and another counterattack— sends him flying to the opposite side of the room. It wasn’t even the sword that got to him, it was his mentor’s elbow to the chest._

_He falls, swearing, and drops the sword once again._

_“That was impressive,” he can’t stop mocking, can he? “The way you employed that counterattack was very inventive, with anyone else it would have scored you a victory.”_

_“Shut the fuck up,” Zagreus yells. “You’re a bloody dead Shade, you’re nothing! One day I’ll be ten times the warrior you could ever be, dead or alive, and I won’t need you anymore, you hear me? You’ll be just another lonely shadow wandering the halls!”_

_“I think we are done for today, Prince,” Achilles says. “Next time we’ll talk about accepting defeat. Victories are impossible without defeats, and knowing how to deal with failure is just as important as knowing how to achieve victory. Farewell for now.”_

_With that, he bows a short, but polite bow, turns around and leaves the room._

_Zagreus doesn’t get off the cold floor for a while. He shouldn’t have been this rude to someone who’s shown him nothing but patience and kindness. He should run after him, apologise. He should take his words back._

_He should._

_He doesn’t._

_It’s wrong._

\---

It’s wrong.

\---

_“I’m afraid I accidentally caught an echo of your thoughts. I try to avoid that when I can, but since I cannot read the minds of older gods or dead people here, I let my guard down. I apologize.”_

_The Shade is in so much pain that it radiates off him like waves; it’s so intense that it’s almost visible. If he were alive he’d probably die from sheer heartbreak; Zagreus met a couple of Shades who died from their hearts being broken._

_And he’s still apologizing, to Zagreus, of all people. To the person who brought the bad news. To someone who shouldn’t have meddled, but did, and now Castiel’s heart is in pieces._

_“You’re welcome to my thoughts,” Zagreus says._

_He should be apologizing. He should be doing everything in his power to make this go away. He’s just standing there, but instead, he’s just standing there telling Castiel it’s all wrong._

\---

It’s wrong.

He’s been there before.

He’s done all of this before.

It’s all wrong. 

\---

_The Shades he chats with occasionally tell him that there’s a taboo against feeling too strongly for your siblings. There’s a word for it, but Zagreus doesn’t bother to remember it._

_The word means it’s wrong to feel flustered when Than pats him on the back and tells him “well done” when he hits a target with an arrow. It means it’s wrong that his heart beats a little faster when Than enters the room. It means it’s wrong to want to make Than smile and to miss his gorgeous long hair._

_“You should grow your hair back, it looked better on you,” he says._

_Than is mad at him, and he’s crushed._

_Than is his brother._

_“Half brother,” they’d correct everyone who asks. It seems important._

_Hypnos is his brother. His cute little brother who’s a bit of an idiot, but kind of in a good way. This is how brothers are supposed to be, he thinks: teasing each other, helping each other with silly chores while still teasing. Knowing each other well enough not to hit painful spots, but never letting each other live everything else down. He’d die for Hypnos. He’s annoying more often than not, but Zagreus cares for him quite a bit. He just doesn’t miss him every minute of every day, as he does Than._

_Hypnos and Thanatos are twins. They are both Zag’s half-brothers._

_Neither Father nor Nyx have ever used that word Zagreus doesn’t want to know. For all he knows, it might be okay for gods. A lot of things that are bad for mortals are fine for gods._

_Still, he doesn’t want to ask, because what if it isn’t?_

_He shies away from Than’s attention. Makes a move to touch him back after a pat on the back and stops before he gets too close. Doesn’t run down the hall when he sees him standing on the balcony, overlooking the river. Pretends he doesn’t give a damn._

_Then they say there’s a war on the surface, and Than stops showing up. Then Zagreus finds his mother’s letter._

_He should have talked to Than about it. He should have said, “I’m not leaving you, I just want to know more about myself.”_

_Instead, he lashes at him, as if having a loving mother, who loves Zagreus just as much, is any fault of his._

_He doesn’t have to learn the word anymore, whatever they could have had would not have been that thing._

_It’s Zagreus who’s to blame it didn’t work out._

_He was wrong._

\---

It’s wrong. 

It’s all wrong.

Than.

Thanatos. 

His friend. His childhood confidante. 

The love of his entire existence, because ‘love of his life’ implies a singular life. 

That’s not how it ended. 

It ended—

Something is very wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a little stuck with Chapter 9. I think I'm unstuck now, but things have slowed down a little. As we slowly approach resolution, the logistics of some scenes are beginning to elude me. I'm working on it, though, it's just taking a bit more time.


	9. Chapter 9

_“Thought you could get away from me, did you?”_

_No. Nonono, not from you, never from you. “Thanatos. I figured it was only a matter of time before Father sent you after me to do his dirty work.” That’s not what he needs to say. That’s not what he wants to say, not now, now when he hasn’t seen him for so long._

_“Is that really why you think I’m here?” Thanatos says, and then threatens to send Zagreus back to his doom. “Here come your father’s forces,” he says, and indeed, here they come._

_“Let them come,” Zagreus says._

No. No, no, this is wrong. It was wrong the first time, it’s wrong—

_”Farewell.”_

That’s not— He didn’t say that to—

_“You left, without so much as telling me good-bye. I suppose you knew I’d catch up with you sooner or later, is that it?”_

_Yes. That’s exactly it, he never left Thanatos, he never wanted to._

_“I left when it was necessary. I have to do this.”_

_Why is he saying it? He doesn’t want to say it, why is he saying it aga—_

_It’s all wrong. Than would understand. Of course he would, he’s Than._

_“It you won’t say it, I’ll say it. Good-bye, Zagreus.”_

No. No.

_“Had a feeling I’d find you all alone out here.”_

_Not again. Please, please, not again._

_“Thanatos! I didn’t— I don’t—”_

_“Zagreus!”_

_This is another farewell, isn’t it?_

_“Zagreus!”_

_“Than. I didn’t— I don’t— I never wanted—”_

His eyelids are so heavy, why are they so heavy? 

“Zagreus! Open your eyes, please, Zag, please, for me!”

He can’t. 

_“You should be ashamed of yourself and learn your place.”_

_‘I’m so—’_

_He can’t say that, again._

_“I want you to come home.”_

_“Home is never going to be the same for me.”_

_“Maybe someday you’ll come to understand.”_

_He will. He has. He still has to—_

_“Still running from yourself, I see.”_

_Not from. To._

_“Seems that I don’t know you as well as I thought.”_

“Zagreus!”

_“Good-bye, Zagreus.”_

“Zagreus. Please, open your eyes. Zag. Please.”

He can’t. He needs—

“Zagreus. Come back to me.”

Is he failing him _again_?

Is there a version of this where he doesn’t—

There is. It’s called his actual life. This is a nightmare. His fears and regrets. It’s—

The Empty.

“Zagreus!”

He tries. For Than, he tries. 

It’s dark. Thanatos is almost glowing in the darkness, his eyes worried and intense.

“You should grow your hair back,” he manages. He can’t think of anything better to say.

“You brat!” Than huffs out a laugh that sounds more like a sob. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

Than grabs his hand — the one that isn’t holding on to Mort like his life depends on it. 

Right. His life did depend on it, apparently. 

Next thing he knows, he’s on the floor in one of the corridors of the bunker, Than right next to him, somehow, still standing.

\---

Than doesn’t give him more than a couple of minutes to recover before he’s dragging him up to his feet and pushing him into the wall, holding most of his useless weight. “Reckless,” he says, “so bloody reckless,” and kisses him. 

The kiss is very different from every other kiss they’ve shared — it isn’t gentle or sweet, and it isn’t even especially passionate; instead, it’s angry, punishing, almost a sequence of bites rather than a caress. Zagreus tries to give as good as he gets, matching bite for bite, but this is a battle Than is definitely winning, so he buries his hand in Than’s hair and holds on. Than’s lips are cold and salty. He kisses and kisses Zagreus, until they are both breathless, and a little bit after that. Only then does Zagreus notice that Than’s lips are trembling just a little, and his eyes are glistering. 

“You could have stayed there forever, Zagreus,” he says at last. “You wouldn’t wake up, for so long! I thought I could lose you. To the worst kind of afterlife, for good. I could have lost you!”

He knew it. He knew Than would be mad. It’s okay. Than is entitled to a little anger. A lot of anger. As much anger as he needs As long as he expresses it with kisses, he can be as mad as he wants to be, as far as Zagreus is concerned.

He wants to say all of this to Than, but instead, he just holds on and lets himself be kissed. He knows Than always understands what he means to say, even if he doesn’t say it. Even if he says the exact opposite.

And Than isn’t the only one in the Underworld who knows Zagreus and loves Zagreus well enough to forgive him for harsh words.

That’s why he knew the nightmare was all wrong. 

When Thanatos pulls back just a little, Zagreus immediately moves to chase his lips. He’s not ready to let go just yet.

“Oy,” he hears. “Get a room, you two.” Zagreus can see that Dean is trying and essentially failing to sound angry.

“Whoever you are, anyway,” Sam adds. “Hello, Zagreus. Who’s your friend?”

“And why the fuck are you making out in our bunker?” Dean demands. 

Zagreus takes a steadying breath. He refuses to be embarrassed. “This is Thanatos, my beloved,” he says. “Than, these are Sam and Dean Winchester, Castiel’s friends.”

“Oh, Thanatos, is he?” Dean says. “Talk about death wish.”

“Judging by what just happened, Zagreus does have a death wish in the sense you people usually mean it,” Than complains. Zagreus notices, though, that he doesn’t let go of his hand. 

“Oh yeah, we’ve seen that,” Dean says. “So, like I said, get a room. Preferably not one of ours.”

“We probably will,” Thanatos agrees. “Ready to go home?” he asks Zagreus. For once, Zagreus wouldn’t mind home.

“What happened, anyway?” Sam asks. “We’re glad to meet you, Thanatos, of course, it’s an honor, but why are you here?”

“This idiot here,” Than nods at Zagreus, but still keeps holding his hand, so he’s probably not completely serious about the idiot part, “almost got stuck in the Empty forever.”

“What?” Sam sounds terrified.

“They somehow made me sleep,” Zagreus admits. “I was dreaming and couldn’t wake up.”

“I thought Jack was supposed to keep that from happening,” Sam says. “I thought he had some sort of failsafe to get you here?”

Zagreus nods. “So did I. Something went wrong, I suppose.”

“Whoa, that sucks, dude,” Dean says. 

“I should say so,” Than chimes in. “He could have stayed there.”

“I’m sorry it happened,” Sam says. 

“What’s important now is to find out how to keep it from happening again,” Thanatos says. “I might not be there next time. It was nothing short of a miracle that I sensed Mort’s pull; it was barely there.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but yeah, finding out how to stop them from grabbing him again should be our top priority,” Dean tells him. 

Zagreus agrees with that, of course. “Have you had any luck with your research?”

“Not really,” Sam says. “You, Cas and Jack seem to be the only living beings who met them in their habitat and lived to tell the tale. Basically, we didn’t find anything we hadn’t already known: the Empty is a place where angels and demons go after they die, and they’re also a person that guards the place, I guess.”

“Like, two in one,” Dean says. 

“We’re familiar with the concept,” Thanatos says. 

“Yeah, right. So, the Empty usually stays in, well, the Empty, and cannot get out unless summoned.” At that, Dean’s face gets grim. Zagreus can guess why. Sam doesn’t notice as he continues. “And all they want is peace and quiet. They don’t seem to want anything else.”

“It doesn’t make sense,” Thanatos says. 

Dean gives him a frustrated look. “What doesn’t?”

“If they want to sleep, why would they take all those beings? Dead and dying are anything but quiet. My brother Hypnos would rather sleep all day, too, and he would never deal with the dead if he didn’t have to. Who’s forcing the Empty to take in all the dead, in the first place?”

“No one,” Sam says, but he doesn’t sound very sure. “Who would force the Empty? Who even could?”

“Wait a minute,” Dean says. “What exactly was their relationship with Chuck?”

“They— Chuck had no power over them. That’s what we heard.”

“Okay. But if he didn’t, who brought Lucifer back?”

“Oh.” Sam looks thoughtful.

“Who’s Lucifer?” Zagreus heard the name before, but it was probably a different Lucifer.

“The Devil,” Dean says. What is it with these people, saying things like they should explain anything when they really don’t?

“What’s a devil?” Than asks. 

“It’s, like… the ultimate bad guy of our world,” Sam explains. 

“And your previous God,” Zagreus remembers who Chuck is from his talks with Castiel, but Than might not know that, so he hurries to explain, “somehow managed to get him out of the Empty. Even though he wasn’t supposed to be able to.”

“Right.”

“That definitely means that the two of them could, at the very least, interact.” Than says. “And probably means that god Chuck did have some sort of power over the Empty.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” Dean says. “Why didn’t we think about it earlier?”

Zagreus wants to ask why Dean called Than “Sherlock’, but suddenly he cannot breathe. 

“Zag?” Than asks, worried. 

“I think he’s about to die,” Sam says. “That’s how he usually dies here.”

“Ah,” Than says. “I’ve never seen it before, myself.” He puts his arms around Zagreus and whispers in his ear, “It’s okay. I’ll be there when you get home. Relax.”

The promise makes this one his favorite death so far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might get a little slower from now on. I have a pretty good idea of how this is going to end, as well as a plan for the final chapters, but I'm having trouble concentrating for RL reasons.
> 
> Also, had a bad day, week, month, year (who didn't, really?) Could use a hug or dozen and a friend or two.
> 
> But well, at least, we've all got Zagreus, he can make everything better.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas to everyone who's celebrating Christmas now!

Waking up doesn’t feel anything like his usual awakening in the blood pool. He isn’t wet and disoriented— or, well, okay, he might be just a little bit disoriented. He’s warm and cozy. There’s a soft pillow under his head and a cool hand holding his own. 

He opens his eyes and finds himself in his own bed. Thanatos is half-sitting beside him, looking at him with an intense, burning stare.

“Wha—” Zagreus attempts, then tries again, “Than. How am I here?”

“I brought you here,” Than says with a shrug. “Figured you could use a little break from your usual ordeal.” 

“Thanks,” he says. “Can you do this every time from now on? As, you know, a special favor? I really enjoy waking up in a bed.”

“No.” There’s almost a smile in Than’s voice.

“Please?”

“No. This was a special occasion. I’m already regretting it.”

“Please? Maybe just after near-actual-death experiences?”

Than’s expression changes from almost playful to murderous in a fraction of a second. Okay. Feet, meet mouth. “Sorry?” he says, but it’s too late.

“I’ve neglected my duties for too long,” Than says. “I’ll see you later. Try to get some rest before you go head first into danger again.” With that, he vanishes. 

Not even a kiss goodbye. 

Typical.

Zagreus tries to take Than’s advice, he honestly does. He stays in bed and counts cracks in his ceiling. There are quite a few of them; he loses count at three hundred and starts over. At crack number two hundred sixty-eight he begins to feel a little drowsy, notices that it’s getting harder to keep his eyes open—

He jumps off the bed as if his sheets suddenly turned into lava.

He’s a god. He doesn’t really need sleep; he hasn’t since he was a child. There’s no point in wasting time sleeping; he has a job to do.

He isn’t terrified. Not at all. He just has work to do.

“You seem distraught,” Castiel tells them after Zagreus finds him sitting alone in one of the halls, meditating. “Is everything all right?”

“Not exactly,” Zagreus admits. He doesn’t like upsetting Castiel; he knows he’s done too much of it already, but there’s no way around this. “The Empty nearly got me this time.”

“What? How?”

Zagreus tells him. Castiel listens carefully without interruption, and then shakes his head. 

“It doesn’t make any sense,” he says.

“What doesn’t?”

“The Empty, trying to take you. They should have known it was bound to fail.”

“It didn’t seem like a failure to me.”

“And yet, you’re here, aren’t you?”

“Only because Than came to my rescue.”

“Right. And what do you think would have happened if he hadn’t?”

“I suppose I would have stayed there.” What else?

“You… really believe that, don’t you?” Castiel says and looks at Zagreus with a slight tilt of his head. He’s got a tiny smile on his lips, but his eyes are sad. 

“Well, yes, what else could there be?”

Castiel sighs. “Zagreus, I’ve only been here in your father’s house for a very short time. But even in that short time I’ve learned that your family cares for you very deeply. They all knew where you went. If you hadn’t come back, do you think Hypnos wouldn’t have tried to wake you? Do you think lady Megaera wouldn’t have torn both our worlds apart to have you back? And if all else failed, lady Nyx already brought you back to life when you were just a newborn. Do you think she would have left you to your demise now, when she got to know you so much better?”

If Castiel puts it that way… “I suppose you’re right, sir,” Zagreus says. “Someone would have tried to come to my rescue.”

“And that someone would have succeeded. As evidenced by the fact that you’re here now, rescued by your beloved. It is fitting that he got there first.”

Zagreus nods. It is. “Do you think the Empty realized that?”

“I can’t see how it wouldn’t. They know enough about you to draw all the correct conclusions about the power you and your family possess. They couldn’t not know how it would end.”

“Why would they do it, then?” Zagreus asks. Now he’s puzzled, even intrigued.

“That’s why I said it made no sense. Why attempt something so desperate?”

“Maybe that’s it?” Zagreus suggests. “They’re desperate. They don’t feel like they can handle me.”

“That seems to be the only explanation.”

Zagreus grins with triumph. “That means we’ve won, doesn’t it?”

“Not yet,” Castiel says. “It only means they’re desperate. They might not be ready to give up. And they aren’t stupid, they’re going to keep looking for a way to defeat you.” 

“But it’s progress.” Zagreus is so excited he could burst with it. He came here thinking he’s almost lost, and now he knows it’s quite the opposite. 

“It might be,” the Shade says. “Use it wisely.”

“I’ll do my best, sir, thank you!”

“It is I who must thank you,” Castiel says. “Please, be doubly careful from now on. If they’re desperate, there’s no predicting their next move. Don’t let your guard down.”

“I never do,” Zagreus says. His excitement won’t let him stay in one place, not when he feels he’s this close to fulfilling his task.

He runs straight for the window.

\---

Than catches up with Zagreus pretty early in Tartarus. “I thought you were going to have a rest,” He says when they finish with the wretches. 

“Couldn’t sleep,” Zagreus tells him. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep at all for a bit.”

“I suppose that’s fair,” Than agrees. “But I’d rather you didn’t rush into trouble the minute you got back.”

“I talked to Castiel,” Zagreus says. “He thinks the Empty knew there was no way I wouldn’t be rescued. He believes it was a desperate move.”

“Castiel has a vested interest in your success,” Thanatos tells him.

“Do you honestly believe he’d lie?” 

“Not lie per se,” Than says, “but believe in things that aren’t necessarily as true as he wants them to be.”

Zagreus doesn’t say anything.

“Zag,” Thanatos says. “Could you at least wait till we figure out why they were even capable of doing this to you? Why Jack’s failsafe didn’t work?”

“And how are we supposed to figure that out, unless I try again?” Zagreus asks. 

“I don’t know. I’ll keep looking.”

“So will I,” he says stubbornly. 

He’s expecting another argument, or probably another demand to stay home and do nothing, but instead, Than says, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay. You’re an adult, you can make your own decisions.” He sounds tired.

“Than, I—” he isn’t sure what he’s about to say.

Than interrupts him, anyway. “Zagreus,” he says. “I love you. Very much. But right now, I need to not be here, okay? I’ll be back. We’ll be fine. But I need some time.”

With that, Thanatos vanishes.

Clay pots make a very satisfying sound when they break. Zagreus makes sure to break each and every one he can find.

\---

“I’m sorry,” says Jack in lieu of a greeting. “You got hurt, it’s my fault.”

“Is it?” Zagreus asks him. If it is, he isn’t mad at Jack, everyone makes mistakes. 

“Kind of,” Jack admits. “I made the spell dependent on your Death Defiances. I didn’t know how else to do this, it required some life force.”

Oh. Makes sense. “Why didn’t you warn me?”

“Like I said, my fault. I had so much to tell you that I simply forgot. And you always have a lot of defiances left, so I… somehow, I just didn’t think you’d be left without. I should have. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Zagreus tells him. “I got out all right. And now that I know—”

“I’ve changed the spell,” Jack says. “It’s still safer to go with at least one Defiance, but the pull will work without. It will take from my Grace instead. Hopefully. Unless I made a mistake. Again.”

“Hey, it’s fine,” Zagreus says. Jack seems way more remorseful than the situation calls for. “Castiel thinks the Empty might have failed at keeping me there, anyway. He says they’re probably desperate.”

“He does?”

“Yeah. He says, it was bound to fail.”

Jack is silent for a bit. “He might be right,” he says after a minute. “I didn’t think of it that way. Someone would have come for you, right? Your family wouldn’t have abandoned you there.”

“That’s exactly what Castiel said.”

“Makes sense,” Jack agrees. “But still, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. I hope.”

“Let’s hope so,” Zagreus agrees and reaches for a boon.

After talking to Jack, Zagreus is hopeful. Castiel said the Empty had been desperate, and now Jack agrees — and also says he kind of fixed the mistake that lead to Zag’s entrapment. He won’t get stuck there again, no matter what Than says. He’s winning this one, he knows it. 

The Colt doesn’t work on Alecto this time, and she manages to kill him twice. She laughs every time he dies. He really, really doesn’t like her. 

It doesn’t work on Lernie, either. The Hydra hisses and spits fire; Zagreus manages to not-die twice during the fight, and then, when it’s almost over, slips and falls straight into the lava, losing a third Death Defiance in one fight; as frustrating as it is embarrassing, that makes him lose a bit of his newly acquired enthusiasm.

It doesn’t get much better in Elysium: he doesn’t run into Patroclus at all, and loses all his remaining Death Defiances he got from Jack’s Boon to Theseus, barely getting out of the fight alive. The Colt doesn’t work this time, either.

Sending a kiss to his loyal Shade in the audience (he really appreciates their support, especially in times like this), Zagreus walks on proudly to meet his fate. 

Or, well, limps to the fountain leaving a bloody trace on the floor — same thing, really.

The fountain isn’t as refreshing as he hoped it would be, and the Fates aren’t merciful at all: the Well of Charon offers neither health nor Death Defiances. 

Which, essentially, means that Zagreus gets to the door to the other reality with zero Death Defiances under his belt. 

Jack did promise it should work out better now, right?

Zagreus picks up a diamond from Charon — can always use more diamonds — and takes his time fishing. Then he chats with Charon a little bit, and spends all of his money for Boons he knows he won’t need; might as well, since he won’t need the money, either.

Then he walks to the door. 

Very, very slowly. 

He almost takes a step back every two or three steps. 

He still gets there. 

One swift push at the door — and he’ll be there again, annoying a cosmic entity and hoping it fails at grabbing him, again. 

He grabs Mort and hugs the toy to his chest. He hasn’t used it once, this run — he knows Than needs his space and he’s determined to give him all the space he needs. He won’t hesitate to use Mort in the Empty, though; he knows that’s the way Than wants it. 

The door stares at him threateningly. Mort looks at him with what feels like pity. Charon, all the way back in the shop, grunts with disapproval. 

It’s one of those decisions you don’t know you’ve made until you’ve put it into action. 

One moment he’s standing in front of that damned door, reaching out to push it, and the other he’s grabbing Mort and yelling, “Thanatos!” at the top of his lungs. He isn’t sure Than can hear him from here; he isn’t sure he’ll even come when his life isn’t in immediate danger, but somehow, in the moment, this seems like the only way.

The air gets darker, and Zagreus knows it worked.

“What did you get yourself into, this time?” Than asks. He sounds so endlessly tired that Zagreus immediately feels guilty for adding to his burden.

“Jack said I got stuck there because the spell depended on my Death Defiance,” he hurries to explain. “And he said he fixed it, but he didn’t sound very sure, or, I think he didn’t, and I somehow lost all of them on the way here, and Charon didn’t have any to sell—”

“Zagreus, stop.”

That startles him. “What?”

“Slow down. You’re not making any sense.”

“Oh.”

“Why did you call me here?”

Zagreus tries to use fewer words. “Take me home,” he says. “I don’t think I’m ready to go there.”

“Oh,” Thanatos says, like this is the last thing he expected Zagreus to say. “Okay. Let’s go home.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A longer chapter this time, approaching the ending. Still might take me a bit to finish the last chapters, but after this one the ending is pretty clear, even if it wasn't from the start :)

Than does take Zagreus to his room again, but this time, instead of waking up in his own comfy bed, he finds himself dumped, pretty hard, on the cold marble of his floor. He sits up, rubbing his head. 

“Ow!” He isn’t hurt, not really; it’s the principle of things. “Did you absolutely have to give me a concussion?”

“Not really,” Than admits, “but it was rather satisfying.”

“Can’t you satisfy yourself without bodily harm?” Zag asks. “Or, I don’t know, ask Meg for advice. Frankly, she’s much better at this entire ‘hurt Zagreus for love’ thing.”

Than pouts. “Who said I did it for love?” Contrary to the sentiment, he rubs Zag’s head with gentle fingertips, checking for injury. “You’re okay, stop whining.”

“No! I won’t stop!” Zag says. He lies down on the floor and crosses his hands over his chest, for dramatic effect, and demands, “What did I do to deserve such a treatment?” with as much pathos as he can muster. 

“Do you want a list?” Thanatos seems unmoved by the performance.

“I stopped! You wanted me to stop and I stopped!” Zagreus says. 

“I don’t think that’s what happened,” Than says slowly. “Get off the floor and tell me,” he demands, “what really happened there. If you used me as your personal chariot, I think I deserve some explanation.”

You’d deserve it regardless, Zag doesn’t say, and does get off the floor — only to take two steps to his left and drop down on the bed. “Come on.” He pats the mattress next to him. “It’s a long story.”

Thanatos sighs like a long-suffering martyr and sits. Zag has to pull on his tunic to make him lie down properly, but eventually, he succeeds. 

“So, Jack told me the spell that pulled me out of the Empty was actually bound to my Death Defiance. When I had none left, it didn’t work. So, this time, I had none left, and didn’t go.”

Than sits up and gives him a stern look. “You said it was a long story,” he says. 

Zagreus grins. “Isn’t it?”

Thanatos sighs. 

Zag hurries to continue. “Actually, Jack said he fixed it,” he explains. “It’s supposed to work okay every time now. But I— you were right. I need a bit of time. And maybe some sleep. I don’t want to go there just yet.”

“Congratulations, you’ve finally grown some common sense,” Thanatos says. “I’m really proud of you.”

“I’m proud of me, too,” Zagreus agrees. He’s sleepy, and it doesn’t feel scary anymore, not when Than is right here with him. “Than?” he asks.

“Yes?”

“Can you stay here with me? For a bit?”

“I’ll do what I can,” Than promises. That’s not a no.

“Or, if you have to leave, maybe come back when you can?”

“Of course.”

“Okay.”

“Get some sleep, Zagreus. You’re tired.”

“Okay.”

As he drifts off to sleep, he feels Than kiss his forehead. It’s nice. 

He wakes up alone in his bed, but opens his eyes and finds Mort seated carefully on the empty pillow. He drifts back to sleep hugging the beloved toy to his chest.

When he wakes up next time, probably hours later, Than is there. That, despite the promise Than made, surprises Zagreus quite a bit.

This time, Thanatos does not object when Zag tells him he’s ready to try again. He simply makes him eat a plate of something edible (probably fish, but Zag doesn’t pay much attention) and wishes him good luck. 

Zagreus doesn’t need luck, but it’s still nice.

\---

The run turns out to be the best he’s ever had; he manages to keep every single one of his Death Defiances. That sort of sets the mood when he gets to the Empty.

“Hi there,” he says. “I’m back. Sorry. I won’t stay long, I suppose, or, you know, not as long as last time, but I’ll be back again. I know you tried to scare me off, sorry it didn’t work. Can we talk?”

“Even if I do talk to you, you won’t leave me alone, will you?” His double asks. “You’ll keep coming back until you drive me _completely insane_!”

Zagreus thinks the Empty is probably more than halfway there already. That, however, isn’t an observation he’s willing to share at the moment. “I might,” he replies. “Leave you alone, that is. If we come to an agreement. Why do you need Castiel so much, anyway? I heard you think he’s loud, although I have no idea why you think that, he’s a very quiet and reserved Shade. His friends can be pretty loud, though, I guess. Isn’t that the opposite of what you want?”

“I’ll silence him,” the Empty promises. “I’ll silence all of them.”

“Are you sure?” Zagreus isn’t really taunting, he’s sincerely doubtful. “I don’t think they are ones to give up easily. And neither am I, you know.”

“Oh, I know,” the Empty sighs. They look— it’s more than a little creepy to see his own face look so drained, so— defeated. “But if I let go of Castiel again, that will show the others I can be persuaded. And I’m already working _so hard_ to keep them all asleep! They keep waking up! They are _so loud_!”

“I don’t need anyone else,” Zagreus says, and then corrects himself, “I don’t know anyone else, I’m not sure I need them. I won’t be coming back for them if you ask me not to.”

“You’re so self-centered,” the Empty says. “Even pretending I believe you — which I don’t, by the way, in case you wondered — it doesn’t matter. Do you have any idea what kinds of creatures I hold? Do you have any idea how inventful and _loud_ they are, now that they wake up?”

A thought occurs to Zagreus, probably much later than it should have. “Why do you need so many of them, anyway, if they’re so loud? Isn’t it kind of counterproductive to keep all of them here when all you need is sleep?”

The Empty is silent for so long that Zagreus begins to suspect they’ve fallen asleep with open eyes, like Hypnos does when he’s on duty. 

“Hello?” He says. “Are you still there?”

His double nods and looks up. Zagreus immediately takes a step back; he isn’t afraid of much, but one cannot be too careful when someone has this expression on their face; he’s seen it on his father’s face too often. It’s rage, pure and forceful. His double’s red eye glows golden-orange, like fire; he didn’t know it could do that.

“Do you seriously think I want this?” The Empty yells. “Do you truly believe I would have chosen _this_ out of my own free will? I want _sleep_. I want _peace_. I don’t want billions of noisy creatures to hold back and keep quiet! I don’t need them, I do not want them!”

Zagreus takes another careful step back, but asks: “Why do you do it, then?”

“You ask that god of theirs why!” The Empty screams. 

“I— I don’t think Jack knows?” he says, unsure. “He isn’t allowed here, is he?”

“Jack? Who’s Jack?” Zagreus thinks he probably surprised the Empty out of its rage. Huh.

“Their god?” he says. “His name is Jack. He’s a nice guy.”

“I don’t think that’s a name I’ve heard him use. And ‘nice’ isn’t exactly the word I’d— wait. Jack. That’s the child Castiel wished to save. The nephilim.”

“I think so,” Zagreus says.

“He isn’t their god.”

“Wait, didn’t I tell you? I must have mentioned it at least once,” he’s pretty sure he has. 

“I wasn’t listening to you, I was trying to sleep!”

Zagreus takes yet another tiny step back. “They killed their old god,” he explains, “or, well, not really, but he isn’t a god anymore.”

“Really?”

Zagreus nods. “Jack is definitely their new god. That I can tell for sure.” From his Boons alone, Jack is one of the most powerful gods he’s ever known.

“And he doesn’t know about my deal with the old god?”

“I think he would have told me if he did,” Zagreys says. “It seems relevant.”

The Empty nods. “This is news to me,” they say. 

“If I may ask,” Zagreys says, “what was the deal? You kept all those loud creatures and got what in return?” Shouldn’t they have noticed once that thing in return stopped arriving?

“I got their power,” the Empty says. “All of it: their Grace, their life energy, whatever it is the creature has. I get all of it.”

“That’s a lot of power,” Zagreus says. “Do you need all of it just to sleep?”

“I don’t,” the Empty admits. Are they sad? They look sad. “I barely need a tiny fraction for my own existence, and it seems like no power in the world can keep them asleep now that they’ve started awakening.”

Zagreus is confused. “So, you keep all those creatures for the power you don’t need?”

“It seemed like a good enough deal at the time,” the Empty says. “I get the power, and he promises to keep the humans out. Humans are the noisiest. I got one, once, she was loud even in her sleep! The old god took her away and promised to keep them out, as long as I keep the others in. It’s a pretty good deal. Or, was. Until Castiel, and then you.”

“I’m sorry,” Zagreus says before he can stop himself. They look so sad. 

The Empty is quiet.

“But now that Jack is the new god, maybe you could, I don’t know, renegotiate?” Zagreus asks. “Maybe Jack could, I don’t know, take away the loudest ones? Or something?”

“Or something,” the Empty says slowly. 

Zagreus is feeling the familiar pull; he’s about to go to the Bunker. “Can I talk to Jack about it?” he asks. He probably will, anyway, but it’s polite to ask.

“Please do,” the Empty replies and starts to say something else, but Zagreus no longer can hear them.

\---

He lands on a bed, which is great; almost the best way to land. Almost, because there’s someone else in the bed, and he lands across the mattress, partially on top of that someone.

“Dude, what the hell?”

Evidently, it’s Dean. And he’s kind of angry. Not as angry as the Empty was a few minutes ago, though, so Zagreus doesn’t mind. He gets off Dean and tries to get comfortable on the empty half of the bed. It’s big enough for two, after all, and Zagreus is dizzy.

“What the hell?” Dean asks. “I nearly killed you, what the hell?”

Only then Zagreus notices a weapon in Dean’s hand. It looks like a small projectile; doesn’t look too dangerous. 

“It’s okay,” Zagreus says, “you can’t kill me for good.”

“Get off my bed!”

“Of course,” Zagreus promises. “As soon as I feel better. I think I spent longer in the Empty than usual. Or maybe talking to them is more tiresome than talking at them, I don’t know.”

Dean draws a long-suffering sigh and gets out of the bed himself. “Sammy!” he yells. “Sammy, we’ve got a visitor!”

Sam appears not a minute later. “Dean, why is he in your bed?” he asks.

“Oh, apparently, he wants rest,” Dean says. “So he’s having it. In my bed.”

“There are, like, literally dozens of rooms with beds here,” Sam says. 

“I know, right?”

“I don’t control where I land,” Zagreus explains. He’s not as dizzy anymore, but the bed is very comfortable. 

“Well, anyway,” Sam says, amused. “Do you have any news?”

“Actually, loads of them,” Zagreus says.

“Coffee?” Sam asks. 

“What’s coffee?”

“Coffee’s a good idea,” Dean agrees, “since we aren’t getting any sleep, I guess, seeing how _someone_ took my bed.”

“There’s room here,” Zagreys tells him. “Is ‘coffee’ food?” He’s probably a little hungry. Maybe.

“Yes,” Dean says, at the same time as Sam says, “No!”

“It’s a drink,” Sam explains at Zag’s questioning look. “With a strong stimulating effect. But I think we have some leftovers in the fridge, if you’re hungry.”

Zagreus suspects this is all an elaborate plot to get him to leave Dean’s amazingly comfortable bed, but he’s hungry and very curious about the ‘coffee’.

The ‘leftovers’ are unfamiliar, but pretty delicious, and ‘coffee’ is very good: hot and bitter, easily turned sweet and soft with milk and sugar, it makes Zagreus feel much better the moment he takes a sip. “Careful there, kid,” Dean says when he sees Zag’s face, “you’ll get addicted.” Zagreus doesn’t care and asks for another cup.

“Not until you tell us your news,” Dean complains, reasonably. There probably isn’t time for another cup, anyway. He starts talking.

“Wait, so, you’re telling us, they’re keeping all those angels because otherwise, Chick threatened to send them humans?” Dean asks when Zag finishes his story. 

“And humans basically keep them from sleeping non-stop?” Sam supplies.

“In other words, he blackmailed them,” Dean concludes. “Under the threat of torture.”

“And if we learned anything about the Empty through our basically useless research here, it’s that they exist to sleep. So, that's kind of the worst kind of torture for them, I guess," Sam adds. "This is—”

“Pretty shitty even for Chuck,” Dean concludes. 

“I can’t believe we’re sympathising with the Empty, of all things,” Sam says. 

“Yeah,” Dean agrees. “Chuck was a cold-blooded asshole!”

“So, what do we do now?” Zagreus asks them. He’s about to suggest releasing everyone the Empty doesn’t want, but then thinks of his own world and what would happen to it if they released everyone residing in, say, Elysium. And Elysium is the least populated part of the Underworld.

“I can rebuild the Purgatory,” they hear. Zagreus can swear that place next to Dean was empty a moment ago. 

“Jack!” Sam and Dean look like they’re seeing a ghost. Isn’t Jack their kid?

“Hello,” Jack says. His smile is more than a little sheepish. 

“Hey,” Sam says.

“I thought you were— I don’t know, raindrops,” Dean says. “Since you went all Spaghetti Monster on us.”

“That’s a figure of speech,” Sam is quick to say, like it’s very important Jack hears it right away. “He doesn’t think you’re—”

“I know,” Jack says. “And Dean, I’m— sorry? I kind of lied.”

“You lied. About what?”

“About the raindrops, I guess. I needed time. To figure things out.”

“So, you let us believe we’d never see you again?” Dean groans.

“That’s not what I said. And I didn’t lie about that, I am everywhere. I just let you believe I can’t take this form. Which, to be fair, I never said.”

“You just didn’t correct us when we thought that. Right.”

“I’m sorry,” Jack says again. 

Dean looks at Jack, his face unreadable. Jack looks back at him, steel sheepish. Dean shakes his head. “Come here,” he says, and suddenly pulls Jack into a forceful hug. Jack hesitates for a moment, and then returns the hug with double the enthusiasm. Sam throws Zag a brief glance and joins them in the embrace. “Welcome home, kiddo,” Dean says into Jack’s hair.

Zagreus thinks this family scene should make him feel embarrassed, or maybe left out. Instead, he feels honored, privileged; he knows humans rarely let outsiders see intimate moments they share with their loved ones, and these particular humans, as Zagreus has already learned, guard their hearts very closely. Being able to witness this moment of joy and closeness this family shares is a gift Zagreus will cherish forever.

It doesn’t last long. Soon, Deans clears his throat, awkwardly pats Jack on the back and steps out of the embrace. “So,” he says with an obviously fake casualty, “you were saying, Purgatory?”

Jack nods. “I think, initially, Chuck intended for it to hold everyone who’s dead, but doesn’t fit in Hell or Heaven. Until they change enough to fit, I guess, or forever, if they don’t. But I think he got... bored? It looks that way, anyway. I can’t see why the Purgatory cannot be rebuilt to hold them all, again. And help them change, maybe.”

“All of them? Everyone who ever died, everywhere?” Sam asks.

“All non-human creatures who died,” Jack corrects him. “Heaven and Hell hold humans. Fixing the Purgatory to hold everyone else — in terms of capacity it isn’t even that big a deal. There are much fewer dead angels, demons and monsters than there are dead humans.

“How long will it take?” Dean asks.

“It— won’t?” Jack says. “It won’t take time. It’s not a matter of time.”

“What do you mean, not a matter of time?”

“That’s something that will take some power, but won’t take time at all,” Jack explains. “Most things I can do now don’t take time, just power. Which, I have.”

“So, do it,” Dean says. 

“I will. But first, I think I need advice.”

“You do? Dean looks surprised. 

Jack nods. “You know some of the creatures in the Empty, right?”

“Dead angels, demons and monsters? Quite a few of them, yeah,” Dean says. “We put some of them there.”

“And some of them got there by helping us,” Sam offers.

“Which is kind of the same thing,” Dean says.

Jack shakes his head, “It isn’t.” Dean opens his mouth to speak, but Jack stops him with a hand on his shoulder. “Wait, not now,” he says. “Right now I want to know: if I were to bring some of the angels back to Heaven and some of the demons back to Hell, would it be all right?”

“You want to… resurrect some of the dead angels and demons?” Sam asks.

“That’s not—” Jack starts, then stops and ponders. “Yes,” he says after a moment. “That’s what I want to do. Heaven needs angels. I’ve been thinking of making my own, but wouldn’t it be better to get some with experience? And Hell lacks demons, too; Rowena doesn’t complain, but I can see she could use help.”

“Huh,” Sam says.

“Right,” Dean says. 

They don’t say anything else for quite a while.

“Gabriel, Anna, Balthasar,” Dean says at last. “Start with them, see how it goes. And Crowley, Rowena will be glad to see him, I guess.”

“And Meg,” Sam suggests. “Maybe Ruby? Bella?”

“So, you think it’s a good idea?” Jack asks. “In general?”

“Hell yeah it’s a good idea,” Dean agrees. “Getting back everyone we’ve lost, unless they’re human? An awesome idea!”

“But that’s the thing,” Jack says. “If I bring back the ones you’ve— we’ve lost, that’s me getting hands on. Doesn’t that make me...him?”

“Wait, kid, no!” Dean says. “You’ll never be like him!”

“How can you know?”

“Because I know you!”

“Because you have a family,” Zagreus says. Dean jumps, like he forgot Zag was even there. Maybe he did.

“What?” Jack asks. 

“From what I heard about Chuck, he seems like a pretty lonely guy,” Zagreus explains. It’s kind of obvious when he thinks about it; the guy probably went insane from loneliness millennia ago. “No one can be alone all the time, and stay sane. But you aren’t; you’ve got a family to help you. And, since afterlife exists in your world, too, you never will be, unless you want to be.”

“I don’t,” Jack says.

“So, you won’t. And that, if nothing else, will keep you from becoming him. Well, and the fact that you aren’t,” how did Dean put it? “A cold-blooded asshole.”

“I’m not _now_ ,” Jack says with doubt. “But if I get as involved as he did—”

“Look,” Zagreus says. “All gods on Olympus are very, as you say, ‘hands-on’. And feet-on. And other bodyparts-on, on numerous occasions. And some of them can be ‘cold-blooded assholes’, at times.” He thinks of his father. Then of Zeus. Then of Ares. “Most of them, maybe,” he amends. “But none of them so far has attempted to destroy entire worlds because someone doesn’t obey their whims,” Zagreus is reasonably sure, from everything he’s heard so far, that this is what Chuck did. “It’s not about how involved they are. It’s about how out of touch with everything he was.”

The Winchesters are quiet for a minute. Then Sam says, “It makes sense.” 

Dean says, “I hope you’re right.” 

Jack concludes, “Okay.” 

“Okay?” Dean looks hopeful.

“Okay,” Jack repeats. “Anna, Meg, Balthasar, Ruby, Bella, right?”

“And Gabriel,” Sam says.

“Gabriel I know,” Jack smiles. “I like him.”

“Not all of them are angels,” Dean warns. 

“I’ll figure it out,” Jack says. “Can you make a list? Everyone you can trust, from most trusted to least?”

“Angels and demons?” Dean asks. 

“And monsters, too,” Jack says. For some reason, that brings out a huge smile on Dean’s face, and Jack grins back at him. “Someone needs to run Purgatory.”

“I don’t think I have the time to wait for the list,” Zagreus warns. It’s pretty quickly getting hard to breathe.

“It’s okay,” Jack says. “We’ll talk later. But when you’re home, can you figure something out for us?”

“Sure,” Zag more coughs out than says.

“The Empty seems to have trouble sleeping. I think they might need help even when we take away all dead creatures. I think you know someone who’s good at it?”

Zag thinks he nods, but isn’t sure they see it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I've been watching Star Trek: Discovery, why do you ask?

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone likes this even a little, please thank Brinimi. I would have never even considered writing this if not for them.


End file.
